


Chasing My Insanity

by CaptainHookness (GhostOpera)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, I'm bad with tags, M/M, One Sided Relationship/Attraction, Physical Abuse, Spencer Needs Help, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-03 13:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOpera/pseuds/CaptainHookness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer Reid has been in a relationship with Aaron Hotchner for a little while now, but only recently has Aaron began to get physical when he loses his temper. It gets harder and harder for Spencer to hide his bruises; especially when he comes to work with a broken nose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Hear A Thousand Voices Call

"I'm sorry!" Spencer cried as his superior shoved him into the wall and put a large hand around his neck, causing Spencer to squeak and squirm around, "Aaron.."

 

Aaron glared at the man at his mercy and smiled, "If you were sorry, Reid, you wouldn't have done it in the first place." With one last swift punch to the side of the face, Aaron dropped Spencer to the ground and watched as he gasped for air, "Stand up and get dressed, we have a flight to catch soon."

 

Spencer looked up at his boyfriend and stood up, sighing as he moved to the closet to get dressed and pack a few books and shirts. After he was finished, he went to the bathroom to look at the forming bruise on his face. Hopefully no one would be too suspicious. He sighed once again and made his way downstairs with his suitcase where Aaron was waiting, "I'm ready..."

 

Aaron nodded and grabbed his things before taking Spencer's hand and dragging him out to the car, "Did you get everything you needed?"

 

Spencer nodded slowly, hugging himself, "Yeah, I did.."

 

 

As the two boarded their flight, Spencer greeted everyone with the best fake smile he could manage. He took a seat next to Morgan and already buried his face in a book. 

 

Derek peeked over the book and examined Reid's face, "So what happened now?" he asked quietly, trying not to draw attention. 

 

"I got in a bar fight," Spencer lied, keeping his eyes on the book before him.

 

Derek nodded slowly, "I'm sure, bar fights are pretty easy to start." He sat back and let Spencer be. He knew damn well that Reid didn't get in a bar fight. He would have to get in a lot of them to make up for every bruise that ever littered his body, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

 

Spencer frowned, "Yes, I suppose. Why?"

 

Derek sighed, "Just making sure. So, how is that boyfriend of yours?"

 

"Boyfriend?"

 

"The hickey, Reid. You look like you didn't even bother trying to cover it up."

 

Spencer tensed for a moment, "Oh," he sighed, "I guess I didn't realise it was there."

 

"How come you never told me you had a boyfriend, pretty boy? You know I've been trying to hook you up for ages now! Who is the lucky guy?"

 

"His name is Eric.." he lied again, biting his lip and looking over at Hotch, "I love him a lot."

 

Derek followed Reid's gaze over to Hotch and frowned. Why would he looking over at Hotchner? There was definitely something that Spence wasn't telling him, "Eric, huh?"

 

"Yeah," replied Spencer as he returned to his book with a small smile on his face. It wasn't a total lie, he loved Aaron very much. While the smile was mostly for show, he still knew that Derek wasn't completely convinced.

 

"Why haven't I seen pictures?" 

 

"Mm, privacy?" Spencer frowned at Derek's sudden need to pry into his personal life with Hotch.

 

"He treats you right, yeah?" He seemed to take notice to Spencer and how he tensed and looked away from him, "He better."

 

"He treats me just fine, Detective??" the genius answered, lounging back, "Why do you feel a sudden need to dig into my private life?"

 

"I'm just trying to seem interested," Derek sighed, "Sorry, man."

 

Spencer sighed, wanting to reach out for help, but that would be the end of him and his career. When everyone seemed to huddle around the laptop that Penelope appeared on, Spencer went over to cuddle in Aaron's side. He slightly winced when Hitch squeezed his hip.

 

"We'll talk later," Aaron whispered before pulling the genius into a kiss. Before everyone turned around again, Spencer was already back in his seat and reading his book.

 

 

 

When they finally landed, Reid followed after Aaron and cuddled into his side, "Where are we staying?"

 

"Just a hotel up the road." Aaron pat Spencer's shoulder and hugged him close, "I'm sorry I hurt you this morning, baby. I was stressed. It won't happen again, I promise."

 

Reid nodded, letting Hotch kiss him and nip at his neck some more as the others walked ahead.

 

"Don't give me another hickey. Morgan is already suspicious. He knows I have a boyfriend, just not that it's you."

 

Aaron laughed softly and peppered Reid's face with kisses, "Well we can leave him guessing then," he grinned and bit down on his boyfriend's neck.

 

Spencer couldn't help but let out a loud moan. He whined when Hotch put a hand over his mouth, continuing to suck on his neck, "Fuck," he groaned, getting a little weak.

 

"Such a good boy," Hotch purred, holding Spencer up as he ran his lips over the bruise, "You can't be loud in bed tonight while I fuck your brains out."

 

"What if we don't have the energy?" Spencer laughed, turning around to connect their lips again, "We should get going." He smiled again and caught up with the others, Hotchner following behind him.

 

"I think we should grab some lunch before we start anything," Rossi murmured as he checked his phone and shrugged, "We still have two hours before we have to meet up with the precinct."

 

"Reid and I will go ahead and check into the hotel and head over to the precinct. You guys can go and do whatever." Hotch yawned and headed to the cab that was waiting, "Spencer, do you have a few bucks for the driver?"

 

"I do," replied Spencer as he slid in next to his boyfriend.

 

Aaron nodded, cuddling against Spencer's side, "You look cute when you're nervous," he whispered, wrapping an arm around his waist and humming, "Do you knowhow many years it would take to flu a space ship to Neptune?"

 

"Why would you ask? It would take over ten years for it to finally reach Neptune's orbit, maybe another seven months before it landed." Spencer looked down at his lap and pulled a book from his bag, whining as Aaron took it away, "Hey.."

 

Aaron laughed softly, "We're almost there, save that for tonight." As they pulled up to the hotel, Hotch led Spencer out of the car, paying the driver before grabbing their things and heading off.

 

"I want to get some lunch after this, I'm starving." Spencer took the key card from Hotchner and made his way in the elevator, "Hold me," he breathed, "I don't like elevators.." He squeaked when he was pulled into Aaron's arms. He couldn't help but laugh and wrap his arms around the older man, placing tiny kisses around the sun-glasses on his face.

 

Aaron held onto Spencer's hip, returning the kisses. He chuckled, watching the way Spencer's eyes fluttered shut, "Are you sure you want to get lunch and not just relax for an hour or so? You know we hardly have time to get intimate anymore."

 

"Since when do you want to relax?" teased Spencer, "And because we're always working, and even when I'm not working, you're at home with me, you're too busy to even look at me.. Or you're hurting me.." Before Spencer could even process what he was saying, he felt Hotch's grip tighten on his hips, causing him to whine.

 

"I think you need to realise that I can't always be there for your every beck and call, Reid." Hotch sighed and made his way to their hotel room, Spencer on his tail.

 

"I never said you had to be!" Spencer argued, squeaking when Hotch slammed the door behind them.

 

"I'm the head of this unit,  _Spencer,_ and I don't have time for your silly whatever outside of work anymore, okay?"

 

Spencer whimpered and hugged himself, "But you don't have to beat me up.."

 

"I've never beaten you up!" Aaron yelled, shoving Reid back into the wall.

 

"Yes you have; maybe not physically.. Yet, but I go to bed emotionally spent almost every fucking night because I was paranoid about you lashing out at me in front of everyone." He had barely finished his sentence  before Hotch had punched him square in the jaw, causing him to tumble down and whimper, "See? When I ever say something you don't like, and we're in private, you feel the need to hit me! I've not done shit to you!" Spencer cried out when Hotchner pulled him up and snarled, "Please.. You need some kind of help."

 

"I can't help that I'm fucking stressed, Reid!" Aaron wrapped his hand around Spencer's throat again, "You're lucky I love you, or I would kill you in a second."

 

"Do you, Aaron? Do you love me?" Reid managed to squeak out, "If you loved me, you would be more understanding of our issues, you would want to try and make us work despite work. Instead you try beating it out of me. I guess I'm lucky you 'love' me to."

 

Aaron growled and slapped Spencer hard across the face, causing the genius to let out a pained sob.

 

"Please, baby.." Spencer whispered, "Try getting some anger management.."

 

When Aaron dropped his boyfriend and stepped back, he grabbed his keys, "We can talk about this later. We have to go, come on."

 

Spencer nodded, picking up his phone and bag up off the ground, "Y-Yes, sir.."

 

 

 

As they made their way to the local precinct, Spencer spent that time debating whether or not to reach out to Derek for help. He hugged himself and murmured soothing words to himself. He slowly laid his head back and held his face where Aaron had slapped him, the flesh feeling hot and swollen. Maybe he was better staying with Aaron and taking the beatings he got.. Maybe he deserved them. He sighed to himself and bit back a few tears before finally speaking up, "I love you, Hotch, and that's why I'm still here, despite what you've done to me."

 

Hotch tightened his grip on the steering wheel, "I said we'll talk about this later." He glared at Reid and sped up, "Why don't you read or something?"

 

"We're almost there, though.." Spencer ran a hand though his hair and sighed, "And I want to keep my head clear for this case.." He swallowed a breath of air before lounging back, "I love you, Aaron, okay?"

 

"I  _said_ we'll talk about this later."

 

"Okay, okay.." replied the younger man, flinching at Aaron's tone. He waited until they arrived at the precinct before rushing to the bathroom to be sick. After emptying the contents of his stomach, he had to face Derek again while washing his hands.

 

"Spencer.. Are you sure you're okay, pretty boy? You look like you've seen a ghost. And that ghost slapped you across the face." Derek blocked Spencer's only exit and crossed his arms, watching as the genius began to fidget nervously. "Are you using again, Reid? Please tell me you're not using.."

 

"I'm not using. I-"

 

"Roll up your sleeves."

 

Spencer cocked an eyebrow and did as he was told, holding his arms out for Morgan.

 

"Okay, so you aren't using anymore.. But that doesn't mean we're done here," Derek watched Spencer closely, watching the way he tensed like crazy as Hotch called his name No, Hotch couldn't be the abusive boyfriend. "Is it Hotch? Are you dating Hotch?"

 

Spencer bit his lip, "No, no, I'm not dating Hotch. I wouldn't risk my job like that." 

 

Derek nodded, not fully believing Spencer. but deciding to let it go for the time being, "Just go to work. We'll discuss this later. I want to know who's hurting you. And I  _will_ find out." With that, Derek left, leaving Spencer to almost break down into tears again. He wanted to tell Derek, he wanted to tell Derek to tell Hotch to get help, but he also wanted to get through this with Aaron and not help from anyone else on the team.

 

Spencer eventually walked out to meet Hotch and the rest of the team, "I-I thought you guys were grabbing lunch?"

 

"We planned to," Rossi sighed, "But there was another murder."

 

Spencer bit his lip and turned to Aaron as if he were seeking permission to speak. "What do we know so far?"

 

"We know he is a six foot, possibly Latino or Middle Eastern man." Emily placed a description of their unsub onto the white board, writing things that were taken from the victim's apartments.

 

"Emily can you read aloud everything that was taken form the victim's houses."

 

Emily nodded and began to read out the list, "...Almost everything valuable, and family photos were broken."

 

Spencer thought for a minute, "He's taking value from the victims. Taking what they cherish most, just like their lives."

 

Hotch smiled and pat Spencer on the back, frowning when he saw the glare that Morgan seemed to be giving him. Did he know he was with Spencer? He made a mental note to question Spencer about it later, "Good job, buddy."

 

As Spencer smiled weakly at Aaron, he became slightly queazy. He suddenly felt like he was under a microscope, by both Hotch and Derek.

 

 

 

 

Spencer now held his gun to their unsub, trying to talk him down from the roof of some building, "You don't have to do this," he repeated a few times, "I know you didn't mean to kill those people, you wanted to get justice for your father. I know what it's like to lose your father at a young age, mine abandoned me and my schizophrenic mother when I was only a kid. I understand what it feels like to not understand." He lowered his gun and waited until the kid got down from the ledge before letting Rossi put him in handcuffs. 

 

He got in the car and sighed, hugging himself. When Aaron got into the driver's side, Reid smiled weakly, "Hotel?"

 

"Hotel," answered Hotchner as he drove off, "Rossi and JJ are taking care of everything while Derek is doing the paperwork, and Emily is packing up."

 

Spencer grinned, watching the world go by outside as they headed back to their hotel, "We can order some food and watch a film." When Aaron didn't answer, Spencer's stomach felt like it was in knots, "Aaron?"

 

"I told you, Reid, we were going to talk when we got back. And that's what we're doing."

 

Spencer let out a shaky breath as they arrived back at their hotel, following after Hotch with his heart racing.

 

Once they got inside their room, Aaron had Spencer against the door, "Does Derek know?" he snarled, "Does he?"

 

Spencer shook his head, "No. He got suspicious, but I told him I wouldn't risk my job like that." He cried out as he was slapped again, "I swear, baby!"

 

Hotch released Reid and ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, whatever."

 

"You have to believe me!"

 

Hotch snarled, listening to Spencer ramble on and on about how he was a bully and needed help with his anger problems. After Spencer had mentioned something about him getting a transfer, that's when he lost it. He threw a hard punch at Spencer's face, sending him to the ground, holding his nose. Every ounce of anger that possessed him melted away when he saw blood begin to pour from his nose. He rushed over to Spencer and moved his hands to see his nose was broken, "Baby, I'm so sorry.."

 

"Get away from me!" Spencer cried, rushing to the bathroom to clean himself up and bandage his nose with crap from the first-aid kit that was under the sink. He let out a quiet sob, thinking about packing his things and leaving Hotch, but not wanting to anger him even further. It was late and they were both tired; Spencer locked the door and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, curling up in the bathtub and closing his eyes.

 

"Spencer, open the door, come on, don't be like that, okay? I'm sorry.. We can work through this!"

 

The younger man let out a quiet sob, "No! Every time we try and talk, you try and beat me and you just broke my nose! I love you, but this is over until you can get some help with your anger!"

 

"Listen to me," the agent sighed, "I'm sorry! I lost my temper, just hear me out!"

 

"Go away! I'm not coming out, just go away, I hate you!" Spencer sobbed into his knees, hugging them and wiping the blood that was dripping into the bathtub. He curled up and whimpered, listening to Aaron bang on the door until he fell asleep.

 

Hotch eventually gave up, leaying down in bed before  _finally_ falling asleep without Spencer in his arms.

 

After everyone had gathered at the police HQ for their goodbyes, Spencer was finally forced to look up from his book. He looked tired and depressed, and Derek couldn't help but notice.  He observed his friend for a while before finally pulling him aside, "Spence..." he whispered, "What happened to your nose?"

 

"Oh, I was out with a few guys at a bar last night and I got elbowed in the nose.."

 

Of course Derek didn't believe his pretty boy. He wrapped a hand around Spencer's wrist, "Who is hurting you? I want to-"

 

Morgan cut himself off as Hotch walked into the room. He frowned when he studied his superior, anger beginning to boil up in him when he saw the bandage wrapped around Aaron's hand. Any twat with half a brain could put those pieces together.  He pulled Spencer away from everyone, "Hotch? Hotch your abusive boyfriend!?" He took Spencer's silence as a definite 'yes' and wrapped his arms around him, "I'll get you out. I'll give you anything you need. Whatever it takes."

 

"Spencer!" Aaron called, "Over here.  _Now._ " _  
_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work and chapter title by Kamelot's Insomnia


	2. Here's To A New Us

It was the second night that Spencer was staying with Derek, and he still felt uncomfortable coming home and not thinking about being hurt. "Derek?" he yawned as he rolled over on the couch, "What time is it?"

 

"Spencer, it's four in the morning, go back to sleep," replied Derek, "It's too early for you to be awake."

 

"I could say the same for you, sir.." Spencer slurred, rolling over on the couch and groaning, "Why are you up at four o'clock in the morning, anyway?"

 

"I was working on some stuff."

 

"Don't you need your beauty sleep?"

 

Derek laughed, "Very funny, Reid." He stood up and stretched, making Spencer roll his eyes sleepily.

 

"Thanks for the strip tease," he murmured, "Now go to bed."

 

Derek yawned, "Believe me, I am. You need to go back to sleep, too. We have a flight to catch in the morning. Now close your eyes, pretty boy."

 

Spencer rolled over and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and waiting for Derek to close his bedroom door before he made the effort in going back to sleep.

 

 

 

Spencer was woken up by the sound of pots and pans clinking around. He groaned and squirmed around on the couch, pulling the small blanket over his head. He squinted at the bright light, "Derek, why do you have to let the sun in at this time a morning?"

 

"Because you have to get up and I'm already awake, so it doesn't bother me." Derek finished cleaning his kitchen and dried his hands, "Now get up, we have to leave in half an hour for the plane. I packed your thinks all except for something to wear and your toothbrush."

 

"Oh, okay," Spencer murmured as he stood up and straightened his pyjama pants. He wandered into the bathroom and yawned, pushing his hair back and turning on the shower. With a loud sigh, he pulled off his shirt and wiggled out of his bottoms. Once he stepped into the shower, he let the warm water fall down his body, stinging the little cuts that he had gotten from Hotch over time. He missed Aaron like crazy, but he hoped that his leaving would help him get the help he needed.

 

Spencer nearly jumped a mile high when Derek came barging in with his clothes, "Spencer here are some -  _oh my god I'm so sorry"._ The genius pulled the shower curtain over his bottom half and whined, "What the hell did you think I was doing in here!?  _Knitting!?"_

 

Derek covered his eyes and pushed the clothes through the door, "Here, I'm sorry, fuck." He slammed the door and took a breath, eyes falling shut for a moment, "Oh god."

 

Spencer remained frozen, still trying to process what had happened. "Fuck," he breathed, going back to cleaning up. Once he finished rinsing his hair, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before pushing a hand through his hair to dry it. Something felt odd about his hair now. It brought back way too many memories of Aaron - of Aaron tugging his long, damp hair as they made love. He stared down at the fading hickey that was on his shoulder. It was Hotch's mark, but he didn't belong to Hotch anymore. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of scissors, taking a deep breath before chopping off one side and watching it fall to the floor. He measured the amount of hair he wanted to chop from the back and let it fall, frowning when the cool air hit his neck. It felt weird... Having this much hair cut in the back. He cut a tiny bit from the right side, just enough to have some bangs. With a sigh, he dropped the towel and pulled on his boxers, then his pants, and finally his red plaid button up. Instead of a tie, he thought he should go with a bowtie for the day. He smiled weakly at himself in the mirror and straightened his bow tie before opening the door and making his way out into the lounge, "I'm ready, Morgan." 

 

Derek nodded, still straightening up, "You sure you have everything you need I-" He cut himself off when he saw Spencer, his mouth hanging open, "I - What the hell did you do!?"

 

"I cut my hair," replied Spencer, as if it were the most causal thing ever. His eyes were still on the floor when he finally spoke up again, "I didn't want long hair anymore... It brought back too many memories."

 

Derek bit his lip and nodded, "Spence, I know you love Hotch, but that was  _not_ a healthy relationship. You don't need him."

 

Spencer stayed quiet, "But I love him, and I want to help him get through this. I love him. And that's what boyfriends do, right?"

 

Derek sighed, "Yes..but.. Not if you know they can kill you," he took hold of Spencer's hand and brought it up to his lips. Spencer only pulled his hand away and frowned.

 

"You can't do that." Spencer grabbed his bag, "I still belong to Hotch. Not anyone else." He left and already started making his way out to the car.

 

Morgan shook his head and sighed, "Reid," he sighed as he grabbed his things and ran after Spencer, "Don't be like that."

 

Spencer climbed in the back seat and began tapping away on his phone. his fingers hovered over the keyboard of his text feed with Aaron. He wanted to talk to him so bad, and he missed his voice... His dry, emotionless, humourless voice that he always brought to life. Maybe they could talk on the plane - if Derek would let them be. He was ripped form his thoughts when Derek opened the car door and climbed in, "You ready pretty boy?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Derek nodded and pulled out of the drive way, speeding off towards the airport. He stole some nervous glances back at Spencer a few times before eventually arriving at the airport. He grabbed his bags from the passenger seat and got out, squinting up at the sun, "Come on, pretty boy, you have to put the book down sometime, might as well be now."

 

Spencer sighed and put down his copy of Le Pére Groit and rolled his eyes, "Fine, fine. I'm coming." He grabbed his bag and hopped out of the car, his eyes squinting at the sun, "It hurts my eyes."

 

Derek pat Spencer on the back and pulled him towards the plane that was waiting. As they boarded, Spencer hugged himself tightly and looked over to see Hotch staring at him. Spencer could only give a weak smile and hide the bandage over his nose. He hugged himself impossibly tight and took a seat in the back corner, staring out the window. Of course there wasn't much to see since they hadn't taken off yet, but he liked to think he seemed in too deep of thought to speak to anyone.

 

After the plane had taken off and Derek was flirting away with Penelope, Hotch had made his way over to Spencer snd smiled, "Hey, Reid."

 

"Hello, sir," Spencer said softly, sitting up a little straighter, his eyes fixed on the table.

 

"Stop with the formals, Spence, you know I hate for my own boyfriend to call me sir.. Unless, you know.."

 

Spencer couldn't help but smile, his eyes finally meeting Hotch's, "Aaron.." he whispered, "I have those files you were asking about a couple day ago.."

 

"Stop avoiding the elephant in the room, Spencer. I know what we're both thinking about. And we can't work through it unless we talk about it. Now come on, tell me what's on your mind." Aaron reached across the table and took Spencer's hand, "Please?"

 

Spencer looked back down at their linked hands and sighed, "I love you so much. I do, but I don't want to be in a relationship where every time I get hit when you have a temper. I want you to get help with your anger."

 

Hotch sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Listen, I don't mean to hurt you. It's just.. With work and everything, sometimes I feel like when ew argue, you're an unsub talking back and it just happens.. I never intend to hurt you. I honestly don't."

 

"But that's not really an excuse, Hotch. I know it's hard to go from work personality to home life, especially with someone you work with, but you really have to learn how to do it because coming home and beating your significant other because you think they're an unsub.. It won't get you very far in a relationship."

 

Aaron took a breath and sighed, "I know, Spencer.. I know. C-Can you help me? I love you and I want to be with you and I don't want to hurt you."

 

Spencer smiled weakly and looked around before leaning across the table to capture Hotch's lips in a kiss.

 

Aaron smiled and kissed him back, making sure no one else saw, "We can go work some of this case together so that way I can kiss you and make up for the last couple of days. Not to mention I'll fuck you on every flat surface of our hotel room."

 

"Is that a promise?"

 

"Quite possibly," Aaron replied, pushing a loving hand through Spencer's hair, his smile widening as Reid pushed into the touch - almost kitten like. "Don't do that. Last time you did, I pet your hair for two hours."

 

Spencer laughed softly, looking back up at his lover, "I'll do what I want." He looked over at Rossi, who seemed to be giving him a questioning look, "What?" he frowned.

 

Rossi only smirked and shook his head, "Well, you are awfully close with Hotch lately." He couldn't help but smile, "I saw that kiss, Spence."

 

Spencer's face flushed, "O-Oh.. Please don't tell anyone."

 

Dave smiled at the kid and pat his shoulder, "I'm happy for you guys."

 

"Spencer sighed and looked down, "Yeah, me too.."

 

Rossi frowned, "Well usually when people start dating, that isn't the reaction they have."

 

Spencer shrugged, running a shaky hand through his hair, "I'm just.. Not good at relationships, and I don't..." He sighed, "Don't worry about it, alright?"

 

Dave nodded slowly, "Okay, kid."

 

"Just please don't tell Hotch I told you. Please..." Spencer skittered off and hugged himself. He stretched out onto the small touch (that no one seemed to sit on) and stared up at the ceiling, his eyes feeling heavy and tired.

 

Hotch stood up and knelt down in front of Spencer, "Sit up, we're about twenty minute away." He laughed, running his finger tips over the small bit of exposed skin between Spencer's shirt and boxers, laughing as it made him squirm. "Sit up, genius. We can have something to drink, yeah?"

 

Spencer sat up and rubbed his eyes, "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I feel so tired."

 

"Is that why you're wearing your beanie today?" Aaron couldn't help but laugh as he pulled the pink fabric from Spencer's head. He gasped as he saw Spencer's newly cut hair, his eyes wide, "What did you do, Reid?"

 

Rossi stood up and sighed, "Let the kid have some fun while he's young. Have you thought about dying it? Maybe blue or red?"

 

"I don't believe that if I were to dye my hair blue, it would be very work appropriate."

 

"Well, I'm sure Hotch wouldn't mind now, would he?" Rossi turned to Hotchner and smirked, "Come on, let him dye his hair."

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, "Fine, but if you have to do it blue, make sure it's not too shocking - actually, no, no blue, only red."

 

Spencer shrugged, "I feel like I don't even have a say in this. I don't even think I'll be dying my hair. I just cut it."

 

Rossi smiled, "Of course you have a say in it, kiddo, it's your hair." He laughed and went back to reading a local newspaper.

 

Spencer turned back to Hotch and smiled, "Maybe you could help me, yeah?" He laced his fingers with Aaron's, "Or you can pick the colour?" He looked up as Derek came over, his eyes widening, "Morgan?"

 

Derek crossed his arms and looked between Spencer and Hotch, "So.. Spence.. Am I uh, interrupting something?" He shot a glare at his superior, "Surely you and Hotch don't have anything important to talk about."

 

"Excuse me?" Spencer frowned, "Who are you to tell me if my conversations are important or not? I'm talking with Hotch and I'm actually enjoying my conversation." He shared a confused glance with Hotch and turned back towards Morgan, "What do you want?"

 

Morgan shrugged, "I'll ask you about it later." He shrugged and walked back to the table where JJ was.

 

Aaron looked back at Spencer and frowned, "What's his deal?"

 

"We'll talk about it later," replied Spencer as he laid back and rubbed his eyes, "I'm so sleepy.. I just.. Want a short nap..Fuck."

 

"Language," said Emily as she sat down beside the two, "What? There wasn't need for that word."

 

Spencer only rolled his eyes and sighed, "Like you never cuss?" He closed his eyes again and stretched his back, his shirt riding up just enough to make him shiver.

 

Hotch couldn't resist running his fingers over the exposed skin, a small smile on his face when Spencer giggled. He made sure that no one saw the smile. His smile quickly faded when he saw a few bruises that started at Spencer's hip and moved up his back and stomach. He tensed. Could those have been put there by him? There was no denying it anymore. That was all on him. He had hurt Spencer,  _his Spencer._ He  _did_ need help. And he was going to get it. And he was to tell Spencer as soon as they were alone. He looked down at his sleeping lover and chuckled, "I love you," he mouthed, putting his blazer over Spencer.

 

 

 

After the jet had landed, Spencer was pulled aside by Derek. He frowned and tried to pull away, "What do you want?"

 

"What are you doing talking to Hotch?"

 

Spencer sighed, "I'm just having a conversation with my boyfriend?"

 

"I thought you broke up with that asshole?" Derek crossed his arms over his chest, "That was the whole point of you staying with me? Because Hotch was beating your ass almost every day." He sighed, pushing past the genius. Why would Spencer go back to Hotchner? It was so stupid. Was he threatening Spencer? Why would Spencer do that to him? He'd been caring for Spencer and treating him like a king, and Spencer just goes back to his abuser?"

 

"Aaron?" Spencer squeaked out as he tugged at his boyfriend's blazer, "Can we talk?"

 

Aaron nodded, hugging himself. He sighed and pushed a hand through Spencer's hair, "Of course, but can it wait? I would like to set up shop and check into our hotel first, then we can talk, yeah?" He kissed Spencer's hair and grinned, "I want to talk to you too."

 

"That sounds like a plan," Spencer grinned, pushing a hand through Hotch's hair, "Okay!" He smiled even brighter and skipped off, causing Aaron to smile after him and laugh to himself before pushing his hands in his pockets. He loved Spencer more than anything and he couldn't believe that he hurt him. He hated himself for it.

 

"Are you okay, Hotch?" asked Rossi as he got into the SVU that was waiting for them.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. You know? Listen, Dave.." Hotch sighed and bit his lip, "I want to ask you something.."

 

"You fucked up with Spencer and you need to make it right?"

 

"What - how - how did you know?"

 

"I've known you had something with Reid for three months. I, uh, caught you two kissing in the bathroom stall."

 

"That was  _you!?"_

 

"Yeah, it was me," Rossi laughed, "Call Spencer over here."

 

"Hey, Reid!" called Hotch, smiling when Spencer skipped over, "Hey, baby. So remember that time a few months ago when we were at Quantico and we were kissing in the bathroom and someone walked in on us, laughed, and then left?"

 

"Yeah?" Spencer looked between Aaron's adorable smile and looking at Rossi, who looked like he was about to explode with laughter, "No! That was you!?"

 

Dave chuckled, "Came in just in time to see you shed your tie and sink to your knees."

 

"Oh my god," whined Aaron, "If you knew how great this kid's blowjobs were, you would be in the same situation!"

 

Rossi rolled his eyes and ruffled Spencer's hair, "You two make a great couple."

 

Spencer blushed and hid his face, "Thanks."

 

Aaron put his arms around Spencer and hummed, "You want to go to dinner tonight?"

 

Spencer smiled, pulling Hotch into a kiss, "You bet your ass I do."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on fire with this fic now. Hopefully updates will remain frequent.


	3. Whisper Whisper In the Dark

Spencer dabbed away the blood that trailed from his lip and down his chin. He spit some blood into the sink and wiped away his tears. How could Aaron do this to him? They were doing great, it had been three weeks since he and Aaron had worked through everything, or - at least he  _thought_ they had. After a long argument over absolutely nothing, Aaron made sure that he shoved Spencer to the ground and kicked him in the stomach a good ten times before storming out to god knows where. Spencer grabbed his phone and dialled Derek's number, his hand shaking as he put the phone to his ear, "Morgan..." he squeaked out.

 

"What's the matter, pretty boy?" Derek asked on the other end of the line.

 

"Aaron hurt my again.." replied Spencer. He was already packing his bags shoving over a dozen books into one bag and about two weeks worth of clothes into another. He let out a quiet sob as he grabbed his two bags and stormed out of Aaron's apartment, "C-Can I.. Stay with you for a couple of days? I - Please?"

 

"Sure, Spence, I'll leave the door unlocked. I'll have some tea ready for you." Derek hung up the phone and sighed. He knew this would happen again.

 

Spencer let out a soft whimper as he knocked on Derek's front door, his eyes falling on the floor as he waited. He looked back up as he heard the door open, his eyes squeezing shut when Derek's arms wrapped around him, "Please don't..."

 

Derek bit his lip as he pulled away, "Where did you...He didn't - Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah, I'm okay. It was my fault anyway. He got mad and I... He just needs to cool off. I shouldn't have started arguing with him." He laid his head down on Derek's shoulder, his eyes closing again, "Is it okay for me to stay here a couple days?"

 

"Yeah, sure, of course. Take as long as you need. You can stay as long as you want, baby."

 

"Don't call me baby. Okay? Please?"

 

Derek nodded slowly, "Yeah, sure, come on in.." He stepped aside and let Spencer drag himself through the door, "Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

 

Spencer hugged himself and plopped down on the couch, "N-No, I'm okay. My stomach just hurts."

 

Derek frowned and pulled up Spencer's shirt, his heart sinking at the sight of the bruises forming black and blue bruises. "What the hell did he do to you!?"

 

"He - uh - he punched me, and then started kicking me over and over again... And eventually I was able to get up after he stormed out the door. I feel like I'm about to be sick, do you mind I use your bathroom?"

 

"No, not at all, Reid, go ahead." Derek watched as Spencer stood up and stumbled into the bathroom, "I'll make you some tea."

 

Without replying, Spencer slammed the door shut and fell to his knees. He didn't actually need to throw up, but he just wanted to get away from Derek and his need to pry into him and his personal life. He hugged his knees and let out a tiny sob, he wanted Aaron to hold him. He wanted to feel his boyfriend's loving touch, the one he missed so dearly. He rubbed his shoulder, "Please," he squeaked out, "Aaron.." He sighed, grabbing his phone from his pocket, scrolling to find Aaron's contact. When he finally found it, his finger hovered over the little green outline of a phone. Should he? He needed to talk through this, he wanted to. When Derek finally opened the door, he looked down at Spencer, "Pretty boy, talk to me. What's going on now?"

 

"Can you just leave me aone? I don't want to talk about it. I just want Aaron. I want to hold him, I want  _him_ to hold me.. Please, just... Can you get him here?"

 

"No, Spencer... You need to stay away from him. I think you should break up with him. He won't change, and I think you should probably get out of it as soon as you can. It's just my personal opinion."

 

Spencer ran a hand through his hair, "Just.. Can I be alone for a while? I think I might just take a shower."

 

Derek shrugged and closed the door, "I'll get you a towel." He turned and ran around the corner to the linen closet to grab Spencer a couple of soft, plush towels. When he returned he knocked on the door, waiting for Spencer to say 'come in' before entering. He definitely didn't want a repeat of the last time. "Here, kid. Just don't try and kill yourself, okay? He pushed a hand through Spencer's hair and sighed, "We're all here for you if you need us."

 

"Thanks," the genius replied, standing up and turning the shower on. He waved Derek off and sighed. He didn't even want to shower anymore. He just wanted to sit on the floor and cry.

 

Spencer stood up on shaky legs and grabbed his phone from the counter top, debating whether or not he tell Aaron where he is. 'You should get out while you can' - The words rang through his head for a moment. Should he leave Hotch now that he had a chance?   _Did_ he want to leave Hotch? No, of course he didn't  _want_ to, but maybe it was for the best. It was an unhealthy relationship anyway, but Spencer only wanted to help Aaron and get him the help he needed. He dropped his phone to the ground and hugged his knees, "Fuck," he grumbled, laying down on the floor, his arms and legs spreading out everywhere. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Maybe they would be called on another case and he wouldn't have to think about it. He'd never wanted to hear about people getting murdered more than he did now.

 

Eventually, he stood up and turned off the shower, beginning to clean up and make it look like he had been showering, he wet his hands from the tap and ruffled the water through his hair and splashed some water on his face before folding the towels over the side of the shower, and after working up enough will power to not lay back down on the floor, he opened the bathroom door and wandered out to the kitchen.

 

"Hey there, pretty boy," Derek smirked as he reached for the tea kettle, "Did you have a nice shower?"

 

Spencer tilted his head in confusion, "Why do you care if my shower was good or not?" He watched as Derek finished making his cup of tea before he took the warm cup, "Thanks.."

 

Derek smiled and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist, "I think you just need to forget about Hotch for now, yeah? Maybe I could take you out to the cinema later, and maybe out to dinner?" He moved his hands down to Spencer's hips and swayed him around a little bit.

 

Spencer tensed at the intimate touch and slid away from Derek's grip, "I don't think it is appropriate for you to touch me in such an intimate way. Considering I still am loyal to Hotch and I don't want to cheat on him."

 

"It isn't cheating if he doesn't find out," replied Derek as he moved closer to Spencer.

 

"That's exactly what cheating  _is!"_ cried Spencer as he stepped back again, "And I'm not breaking up with him, either!"

 

Derek rolled his eyes, "You have to have a  _little_ fun in life, come on, Spence!"

 

Spencer shook his head and looked down, "I - Derek - I.." he trailed off and bit his lip, "I'm just not that kind of person. I don't get guys and girls as easy as you may, and now that I finally have someone I love, I don't want to throw it all away because  _you_ didn't want to keep it in your pants." He watched Derek for a while and crossed his arms, "And honestly, while I'm being honest, I'm not very fond of you. I find you to be a bit of a shitty agent, you think it's okay to hit on any woman with a pulse and I don't like how you're so fixated on your looks. You _don't_ need to use them to get everything you want because you don't  _need_ them to get everything you want!" Spencer took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, "You have your moments when you have good theory, but - ... You think more with your penis and not your brain and - wait - are you even-? I've never seen you  _ever_ look at a guy or hit on a guy - so.."

 

Derek stood for a while, his mouth hanging open, "If you think of me so poorly, why do you come to me when Hotch beats you up?"

 

Spencer stayed quiet, his eyes fixed on the ground, "Because I don't want them to fire Hotch. I love him and I don't really want him to be in trouble with anyone."

 

Derek sighed, "Spencer, I think you need to stop protecting Hotch, as he's done more hurting you than protecting you. It isn't fair."

 

"But I love Aaron, and I'm not going to do that to him. It's stupid of you to think I would betray him like that." Spencer hugged himself and backed away from Derek, "Maybe I should go.."

 

"If you feel you have to." Derek watched as Spencer shuffled away and grabbed his bag, "I think you really need to be alone and sort out your thoughts. Get a hotel room."

 

Spencer nodded slowly, "Yeah, I think I will." He put his bag on his shoulder and shook his head, "I'll see you at work tomorrow then, Morgan." He opened the door and closed it behind him, biting back tears as he headed out the door and down the street.

 

 

 

Once he finally arrived at a decent hotel, he checked in and made his way up to his room and sat on the bed. Silently. All the genius could do was sit and stare at the wall in front. What was Derek playing at? Why was he all over him?

 

His thoughts wouldn't end, they only crumbled him more. He couldn't stop the storm inside his head, and he'd finally had enough. He tugged at his hair and laid back on the bed. He needed to talk to Aaron, but when is the right time to talk to your partner about your abusive relationship? Was there ever a good time? Sighing, he shut off the light and ran a hand through his hair; he kept debating whether or not to call Aaron - he wanted to talk through it, but at the same time, he didn't want to get beat up for his opinion on his boyfriend's state of mind. Maybe he just needed a drink.

 

 

 

It was now a little past eight at night, and Spencer could barely stand on his own. He'd gone out and bought a few bottle of whiskey to avoid running up his hotel bill with the mini bar. He had spent the last three hour drinking back two of the bottles - it was a lot more than he was used to drinking, but he had finally managed to calm his thoughts. At least a little bit, the only thing he could kind of remember and think about was the string theory, which he enjoyed thinking about. And before he knew it, or slightly knew it, he was sound asleep.

 

Spencer woke up the next morning to a series of phone calls. From Hotch, Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi. And a few texts from Derek. He squinted his eyes at the light that was poking through the curtains and stood up, "Fucking christ," he grunted as he headed into the bathroom to shower and possibly throw up. In Derek's text(s) he said to get to the plane by 10h00, so that left him time to moan and groan in the shower and puke his guts out before he had to leave.

 

 

Once he finally finished and cleaned up, he straightened his tie and slipped on his darkest sunglasses. It was pretty overcast outside, which meant he'd get a few strange looks, but he could always say that he had sensitive eyes. He managed to catch a cab and surprisingly had enough money to get him to the airport.

 

As he arrived at the airport he saw Derek and the rest of the team - well away from Hotch. Spencer took a breath and made his way to the rest of the team, smiling up at Rossi and JJ.

 

"Where the hell have you been, pretty boy?" asked Derek as he slapped Spencer on the back, making him groan.

 

"I had a hard night," Spencer replied as he motioned towards the plane, "Are we ready?"

 

The others nodded and made their way out to the place. Spencer was the first on, giving him the opportunity to choose the lone seat in the back corner by the window. Everyone else sat at the table together and looked over at Reid.

 

"So what's up with Reid?" asked Rossi as he gathered a few more files.

 

  
Spencer half expected Hotch to answer, but was quite surprised when he stayed quiet and Derek spoke up.

 

"He was out at the bar after work and he was too drunk to get back so he got a hotel room. He tried to call me, but I was pretty busy." Derek shot a glare over at Hotch, but kept silent and continued working on getting files organised.

 

 

When the plane finally landed, Spencer made sure to be the last one off to keep away from everyone. Everyone got int he cars that were waiting for them. SPencer kept in the back seat and hugged his bags to his chest.

 

Rossi sat down next to Spencer and smiled at him, "You okay, kid?"

 

Spencer nodded slowly and laid his head back, groaning at the pounding against his skull, "Yeah, just hung over."

 

"I'll say, Reid. You look like hell."

 

"Thanks." Spencer sighed and closed his eyes as he felt the car begin to move.

 

 

The flight was pretty painless, but still awkward for Spencer, considering he couldn't sleep and he could hear everyone whisper about him. He'd grabbed his bags and walked down with the steps, making sure to be the last one off to avoid more questions about his current state. And now they were in the car, speeding down the freeway, Spencer could barely stand the sight of Rossi, who seemed to be staring him down, "What?"

 

  
"You're acting funny. Are you okay?" Rossi watched as Spencer shifted uncomfortably, his eyes widening when his shirt rode up and exposed a little patch of purple skin, "Did someone punch you?"

 

 _Yes._ Spencer shook his head and laughed, "Oh, no, I banged my side on the edge of the counter tip in my bathroom, when I got out of the shower, I slipped and caught myself, but my hip wasn't as lucky."

 

Rossi nodded slowly, "Okay."

 

 

 

After a while, the gang finally arrived at the local precinct and set everything up. Spencer had already glued himself to the white board, studying the victims' pictures closely, "Is this all of them?" he questioned to no one in particular.

 

"We're still looking for more," answered the local Detective, who was assisting them.

 

"I'm sorry - who...?"

 

"Detective Welch. Brandon Welch." The Detective smiled warmly and extended his hand for Spencer.

 

Spencer smiled nervously, "I - I don't shake hands.. Germs.." He nodded and turned back to the board.

 

"But you have a boyfriend?"

 

Spencer froze, "What? How would you guess that?"

 

Detective Welch smirked, "The hickey. Someone's claimed you, and most women don't give hickeys as a sign of claiming. And you're staring at tall, pale, and emotionless over there, so I'm guessing you've been sleeping with him. He treat you alright?"

 

"This is not your business, Detective." Spencer sighed and looked down at the small map. He thought for a while, ignoring Welch's comments on his sex life.  _Finally_ , he was shut up by Rossi and JJ coming in and handing Spencer his FBI vest.

 

"We have another murder, and a sighting of a suspected unsub." Rossi nodded at the Detective and rushed back out the door.

 

Spencer quickly strapped his vest on and grabbed his gun, rushing out to one of the SUVs, Welch on his heels.

 

 

They arrived in a small neighbourhood and scattered about, searching for any crazy person with a knife. Spencer made his way back around to an alleyway, whipping around when he heard footsteps behind him, "FBI, stop!" he yelled, pointing his gun at the man before him.

 

"You going to shoot me, detective Reid?"

 

"How do you know my name?"

 

The unsub stepped forward - more like  _lunged_ forward and grabbed Spencer by the wrist, twisting him in awkward directions and laughing at the crack of the bone in his arm, "Make a noise and I'll kill you." He put the knife to Spencer's throat and dragged him out into view of the other officers.

 

Spencer squeaked out as his already broken arm was bent even more. He watched as his team drew their guns.

 

"Let him go!" Hotch yelled, stepping closer.

 

"Why?" responded their sunsub, "So you can shoot me? Take me to prison?" He pressed the knife against Spencer's throat and hummed, "I'd hate to silence such a genius."

 

Rossi watched Aaron step even closer, only meters away. The all had a clear shot, but wouldn't dare risk Spencer's life.

 

"You don't have to do this. Spencer has done nothing wrong, and all you have to do is let him go. We can try and make a deal with the DA. Just let him go. If you kill a federal agent, there would be no making a deal, that's a straight life sentence." Aaron tightened his grip on his gun and took a couple steps forward, "Why did you kill all of those people? Revenge? Closure? Is it the only way you can get it up? Do you get excited when you feel the blood on your hands?" He watched the unsub closely, his eyes narrowing, "Let him go."

 

The unsub snarled, tracing the knife over Spencer's neck and down his chest, "I think your little boyfriend here is better off dead, you've been trying to kill him anyway, haven't you?" 

 

Spencer squirmed and hugged himself, trying to reach down for his gun. He gasped as he felt his shirt being yanked up, exposing all of the bruises Aaron had left from their fight just the other day, "He looks pretty banged up to me," said their unsub, "So you can't lecture me on saying he doesn't deserve something. You know damn well he never did anything to you."

 

"How do you know this?" Spencer asked, yelping as the blade was pressed against his wind pipe.

 

"Let him go," Aaron yelled, running to close the distance between him and the other two men. He yelled out as the blade was dragged across Spencer's throat. He quickly pulled his jacket off and made an attempt to try and stop the blood from spilling out so fast. He watched as Spencer closed his eyes in pain and struggled to push his lover's arms away, "Call a bus!" he yelled back at the rest of the team.

 

" _Spencer!"_ cried Hotch, " _Don't you die on me, Spencer!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title by Kamelot's Liar Liar (Wasteland Monarchy).


	4. I Can't Undo What Has Been Done

"Thirty four year old male, cut to the throat. We need to get him into surgery. Sir, you need to let us take him."

 

"He's my boyfriend, I can't leave him!"

 

"Sir, let us help him!"

 

Aaron watched as the nurse and three doctors wheeled Spencer off to the OR. He looked down at the blood on his hands and closed his eyes.

 

"They can help him," said Rossi as he put a hand on Aaron's shoulder, "He'll be alright." Dave sighed; he was pretty angry at Hotch for abusing Spencer, but it still helped him get a profile for their subsub(s). There was more than one sunsub, there had been another murder and they had someone in custody.

 

"Do we have a profile on this unsub yet?" Aaron asked softly.

 

"We believe - or we  _know_ there is more than one. It is possible that they think they're saving the victims from their abusers. That's why the victims have no set age, race, or anything like that." Dave glared at Hotch and sat down in one of the uncomfortable waiting room seats, "That's why Spencer was a target."

 

Aaron stayed quiet. He couldn't even begin to process the thought of someone thinking they needed to kill Spencer in order to save him from... 'From me' he thought. Maybe he was better off leaving Spencer. Or at least getting the help that he needed. And now he was finally able to accept that. 

 

"Dave.." he whispered, "I think I'm going to take a few weeks off work. I'm putting you in charge, make sure the place doesn't fall apart without me, I-"

 

"Aaron Hotchner?" asked the nurse as she came shuffling out. When Aaron raised his hand a bit, she sighed and spoke up, "We're going to need to do a blood transfusion, do you know what blood type he is?"

 

"Uh - yeah... We have the same blood type, it's O Negative." Aaron shifted nervously, finally speaking up when the nurse turned to leave, "C-Can I.. Donate blood to him?"

 

The nurse thought for a while, "Okay, come on."

 

 

 

Spencer cracked his eyes open and opened his mouth to speak, surprised when only air came out. He frowned and shot up, his eyes widening. He wanted to yell for Aaron, but of course nothing would come out. He brought his knees to his chest and sighed, his mind racing to remember what happened.

 

Aaron ran a hand through his hair and finally made his way back to Spencer's room with some jell-o and a cookie (which was for himself). He checked himself in the mirror and opened the door, "Hey, Spencer? Are you awake?"

 

Spencer was slightly startled by the sudden loud voice, but he still smiled when he saw Aaron standing by the door. He tried to reply, but his voice was still absent. It was strange. He waved at HOtch and invited him to sit. He thought for a while and grabbed the notepad and pencil, ' _They said that they had to do a blood transfusion. How did they find my blood type?'_

 

Aaron pushed a hand through Spencer's hair and sighed, "I had to tell them. And then I donated some for you." He smiled at Spencer and pressed a kiss to his forehead, "They also said your vocal chords were badly damaged due to the cut. It's going to take a while for them to heal. They had to stitch them together, so you won't be able to talk for a while."

 

Spencer's eyes fell. He gripped onto Hotch's hand, his eyes welling with tears. Maybe they would heal? Even  _he_ didn't know the answer to that. He closed his eyes as Hotch rubbed his back, "Do you remember anything from the other day?"

 

Spencer nodded slowly, beginning to scribble down on a notepad with a shaky hand, ' _Some. I remember him saying he could save me. He knew my name and I'm not sure how. It's weird because he acted like he knew who I was, who you were and what was happening between us. I want you to have Rossi interview him, and I want to  be in observation. Or watching somehow.'_

 

Aaron smiled sadly, struggling to decipher Spencer's messy hand writing, "I'll have Rossi record the session. He can send it to you to watch."

 

Spencer nodded slowly as he laid back and looked at the navy blue cast that covered his forearm and went slightly past his elbow.

 

"I know it's your favourite colour," smiled Aaron.

 

' _Thanks,'_ the genius wrote.

 

Rossi sat before their unsub and sighed, "Russell Cortland. Wnated in eight state for murder. So why did you do it? How did you get away with it?"

 

Cortland stayed quiet for a while, eventually speaking up, "They needed saving. Without me they would still be getting hurt."

 

Dave nodded slowly. He was dreading his next question, but it needed to be asked. He took a breath, "How did you know Reid was abused, and how did you know Unit Chief Hotchner was doing it?"

 

Cortland smirked, "When he held his gun to me - I saw the look he had. It was like he was waiting for permission, or a command. I saw the light bruise over his eye that he had tried so hard to cover with make up. You guys are supposed to be profilers, how could you not see that he could barelylook anyone in the eye? He was terrified to even look at people without permission."

 

Dave looked over at JJ and waited for her to speak.

 

"How did you know who was doing it, though?"

 

"Your unit chief? He wasn't trying to hide it; dark and dead eyes, the bruises on his knuckles, the fake fearlessness and worry he had for that poor kid. He was more worried about his reputation than his boyfriend dying."

 

JJ nodded slowly and got up, "I think we're done here. Take him back to his cell."

 

 

 

Spencer hugged himself as he watched the interrogation, profiling him as he spoke. 'He sees abuse everywhere, he sees fake emotion everywhere. Nothing is real to him. Every emotion he sees in people is fake. Except he probably he probably isn't wrong about Hotch' Spencer thought. He closed his laptop and sighed, leaning back against the pillows. How long would he be here? He had shit to do, he didn't have time to lay around in a hospital bed. HE sighed and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He pulled out his phone and rolled his eyes, sending a text to Aaron saying that he could come back in. He smiled when Hotch crept his way through the door, ' _When can I get out of here?'_ he handed the pad to Aaron and shrugged his shoulders, his cheeks turning a cute pink colour.

 

Hotch rolled his eyes, Spencer, you had your throat cut! Not even a full two days ago either. You're crazy if you think you're getting out of here in less than a week. You can't even speak."

 

Spencer rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, staring at Hotch for a while before grabbing his pen and paper, ' _So if I could talk, I could go home? Then help get some noises out of me!!'_

 

Hotch sighed, "Spence, it's not that simple. Your vocal chords were ripped pretty badly, it's amazing that they weren't severed. If you are able to talk again, it won't be as loud as it used to be. But they say your chances of being able to talk again are very high. I wouldn't be too worried." He kissed Spencer's nose and sighed, "And I want you to know that I'm taking two months off from the BAU to get some help. I want to be with you, Spencer, and I want to be without worrying when I'll snap at you. And I don't want you to be afraid of me. I love you, Reid."

 

Spencer smiled weakly, his eyes falling to the ground, ' _You've said that before. So just give me some time to believe it, okay? I love you too, I just...Need you to realise that even though we've both done some wrong here and there, you need to stay true to your word.'_ He handed Aaron his notebook again and ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself and his thoughts.

 

Aaron handed Spencer his notebook, "I know, baby. I've not treated you as best as I should have, and I won't blame you for wanting to leave me, but I'll give you space for you to clear your head, okay? It'll be good for you. Just call me when ever you're ready. I'll always have my phone with me, plus, you have me on speed dial. Even when I'm gone, from the BAU for the time I'm getting help, I'll have my phone and you'll always be on my mind."

 

Spencer blushed lightly and hid his face, "Aaron, I just.. I love you too but.. I don't know, yet, I'll call you later, yeah? I want you to go put that guy behind bars. Even though he doesn't deserve it."

 

"Doesn't deserve it, Reid, he killed fourteen people. Of course he deserves to go to prison." Hotch smiled sadly, "And he almost killed you."

 

"Yeah but.. He believed he was saving his victims from their abusers. He tried to save me from  _you."_ Spencer hummed softly, laying back and trying to ignore Hotch's glare, "You know, he can plead insanity and get less time. Just consider it, please? He's only a kid, he's twenty two and needs to get help, he deserves a second chance of some kind."

 

Aaron bit his lip, his eyes softening. "Can you.. Why?"

 

 _'Because now I can relate. I know what it felt like.. To be abused for doing nothing wrong."_ He looked up and ran a hand through his hair, _'He doesn't deserve to be put in prison for saving people.'_

 

Aaron sighed, his eyes falling to the floor, "I'll be back later before I leave for rehab. Just so I can say goodbye." He smiled the beset he could and ruffled Spencer's hair, "Bye, love."

 

Spencer scribbled down a messy goodbye before laying back down. Hell he wanted out so bad. Maybe he could coax JJ or Garcia to take him under their care. He wondered where those two were. Chuckling to himself (silently), he pulled out his phone and text the two of them, asking them to stop by the hospital. Spencer looked up as the doctor walked in and waved, watching as the doctor moved in to refill his cup of water,  _'Thank you'_ he wrote,  _'When can I get out of here?"_

 

The doctor shrugged, "Well, you passed the physical, so whenever someone can take you into their care, you're free to go."

 

Spencer smiled and sat up, easing his IVs out and grabbing his clothes and quickly changing. One of his greatest fears at that moment was Derek walking in on him again. 

 

"Reid!" yelled Penelope as she came skipping into Spencer's hospital room, "I've come to take you away to my place!"

 

Spencer smiled, grabbing his pen and paper,  _'Hey! I'm actually looking for JJ too, you don't mind waiting, do you?'_ he smiled to himself and looked up at Penelope,  _'My vocal chords were ripped pretty bad, so I can't talk right now, but I'm sure Aaron already told you that. If he didn't, don't worry, I'm just fine.'_

 

Penelope smiled and ran her fingers through Spencer's hair, "You're so strong. I can't wait to take you back to my place. And Agent Rossi said he wanted to talk to you later about Hotch,  _the bastard."_ She looked up at JJ, who was walking in with a snow cone.

 

"Hey, Spence, I know you can't eat anything very hot, so I brought you a snow cone. It's blueberry, if you want it," JJ smiled softly and looked down at the bloodied bandage around Reid's neck, "We'll need to get some gauze to keep that bandage clean."

 

Spencer shook his head and smiled, starting to scribble something down,  _'No, we don't need any, the doctor put some on my bag. She said it would last about two weeks'_ He shoved the notebook in JJ's face, snatching it back before she could read it. He laughed silently and wrote under his last message,  _'Sorry, I meant he. I had two, the first was female.'_ He gave a silent chuckle and handed it back. Rubbing his eyes, the genius hugged himself tightly. He was exhausted.

 

JJ sighed, "Okay, come on then. Let's get you out of here. We can go by the pharmacy and get your pain killers."

 

Spencer quickly grabbed his notebook and frantically began writing,  _'No, I don't want anything. Please, no narcotics, thank you."_

 

JJ frowned but nodded her head and showed Spencer out the door with Penelope. 

 

After the trio arrived at Penelope's place, Spencer plopped down on the couch and rubbed his eyes. He frowned as JJ pulled Penelope aside and started whispering to her.

 

When Penelope returned, she handed Spencer a red and greed bell in the shape of a strawberry, "Just ring this if you need me and I'm not in the room."

 

Spencer frowned,  _'I can get what I need myself, Garcia.. I just need to know where everything is.'_ He smiled and handed Penelope the paper. He grinned, running a hand through his hair, motioning for JJ to hand him his phone.

 

"Don't text Hotchner, Spencer. I'm not letting you get back into that relationship." JJ watched Spencer closely, crossing her arms.

 

Spencer scowled, grabbing his notebook and pen, staring up at JJ as he write,  _'I'm twenty five years old, I don't need someone to tell me who I can and cannot talk to. I will talk to my_  boyfriend  _if I want to, Jennifer.'_ He snarled and stood up, making his way into the bathroom. He pulled out his phone to tell Hotch that he was at Garcia's apartment and no longer at the hospital. He didn't want Aaron to leave for rehab, but he knew that it was best for both of them. He turned on the shower and slid down the wall, waiting for the steam to heat up the room.

 

 

Spencer had just gotten out of the shower by the time Aaron had finally text back saying he was on his way over so he could say goodbye. He ran his hands through his damp hair and pulled on his boxers. The genius smirked to himself as leant against the wall, snapping a rather suggestive photo of himself before sending it to Hotch with a caption that read 'Something to remember me by.' He pulled the rest of his clothes and dried his hair before making his way out into the lounge, ignoring the strange glances he got from Penelope and JJ as he grabbed the gauze from his bag. He wrapped some around his neck and used some to dry off his cast. He bent down to get his notebook ,  _'Hotch is coming by to say goodbye before he leaves for rehab. I would like to be alone with him before he goes. After all he is my boyfriend so..'_ He slid the notebook across the table with a glare. Just about that time, Spencer heard a knock at the door; smiling, he bounced his way to the door and opened it up, grinning brightly at Aaron.

 

Aaron smiled, handing Spencer a bright white rose, "Hey, darling," he cooed, pressing a kiss to the genius' forehead, "I hate to leave you like this, but I know you'll be great. I love you so much."

 

Spencer giggled softly, but of course nothing came out. HE sniffed the flower and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck.

 

Hotch hugged onto Spencer's waist tightly, breathing in his scent and putting it away for memory, "I'm going to miss you so much, baby. Be good for me while I'm gone, okay?" He pulled the pen and legal pad from his blazer and handed it to Spencer, "Send me letters, please? I would love it, and maybe some pictures every now and again?"

 

Spencer bushed lightly,  _'Check your phone'_ he wrote, winking up at Aaron,  _'But don't worry, I'll send you a photo whenever you ask for it. I can make them as innocent or as risqué as you want them to be.' _He smiled and ran a hand through Aaron's hair, nipping at his bottom lip.

 

JJ coughed behind the two, making Spencer turn around and press himself against his boyfriend, protecting him. She stepped closer, "Sir," he murmured, crossing her arms. She looked over at Penelope, who had a scowl on her face.

 

"Listen," said Hotch as he stepped inside, holding Spencer's waist, "I know you hate me right now for what I've done to Spencer, but I want you to know that that's why I'm leaving the BAU for two months. I'm going to rehab to get help with my anger. I want to be a better boyfriend to Spencer. I love him and I want to be the man he fell in love with again. Which is why I'm here. I would love for you ladies to help take care of Spencer and sometimes Jack too. I understand if you odn't want to, but it would mean so much."

 

Penelope glanced at JJ, who crossed her arms, "Not sure," she grumbled, "Can we think on it?"

 

Penelope sighed and set a few of her rings down on the table, "Okay, we'll do it. I know it would mean a lot to you and we love Jack. I would be happy to do it."

 

Aaron smiled brightly, holding onto Spencer and mouthing at his neck, "Thank you so much, Garcia. I can't even begin to thank you." He turned Spencer to face him and smiled weakly, "Be good for me, okay, Spencer? I'll keep in touch. I love you."

 

Spencer squeaked as Aaron tried to pull away and hugged him tightly, letting out a small cry. When Aaron half pried him off, Spencer wiped a few tears away before pulling Aaron down into a loving kiss. After a while, Spencer eventually pulled away, stroking his knuckles up and down the side of his lover's face. He stepped back to write something down, his hand shaking in the process,  _'You be good too. Be nice to the employees. Don't go throwing a bitch fit and saying you're in the FBI."_

 

Aaron stared down at the paper for a while and laughed, putting two fingers under Spencer's chin to tilt his head up, "Shut up, I don't do that." He wiped away Spencer's tears and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "I love you. Don't forget that." He smiled as Spencer nodded and squeezed his hand, "I'll see you soon. Don't go forgetting me now. Text me or call me if you need me." The agent pushed one final kiss to Spencer's lips before waving goodbye to JJ and Penelope, "I'll tell Jessica to bring Jack by every weekend so he can spend time with his uncle Spencer." He smiled at the trio and blew a kiss to Spencer before walking off.

 

Spencer slowly shut the door and leant his forehead against it, tears rolling down his face.  He didn't want Aaron to go. It made him feel like he was being abandoned. The genius wrapped his arms around himself and sniffed.

 

"Spencer?" JJ whispered, putting a hand on Spencer's shoulder, "He'll be back."

 

Spencer pulled away and grabbed his phone, scrolling through his contacts to find Aaron's; when he found it, he pulled up their text feed, sending an 'I need you', hoping that Aaron would run back to him and hold him one last time. He wanted to go to rehab with him, just so he could see his goofy face every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title by Måns Zelmerlöw's Heroes.


	5. End of Innocence

It had only been two weeks since Aaron had left for rehab, but it felt like  _years_ to spencer. Spencer could barely function without Aaron around. It was so strange; there was no comforting touch of his boss if he needed it, there were no mid-day lunch dates, no anything, and it broke his heart. Of course everyone had gone back to working as normal, almost completely forgetting about Hotch and Spencer. All except for Rossi and Morgan. Morgan still acted strange, he still made off advances towards Spencer - advances that Aaron wouldn't tolerate. Rossi on the other hand, handled it way better, he would tell Morgan to get back to work and make sure Spencer was holding up and Spencer would reply with the same high pitched 'I'm fine' before skittering off.

 

Spencer now sat at his desk, pen in hand and a blank sheet of paper before him. He thought. And thought. And thought. But nothing came. He groaned in pure frustration and leant back in his chair.

 

"Writing a letter to Hotch?" asked JJ as she propped herself up on Spencer's desk. When Spencer nodded, she laughed, "Well, it looks like you need some help. Is there anything in particular you want to say?"

 

Spencer shrugged his shoulders, "Mainly just how I'm doing, how the office is doibng without him... How Jack is."

 

JJ nodded her head, "So it seems like you just need help with your introduction.  You could probably start out with saying you hope he's doing well, that you're doing well, how Jack and the team are, and then tell him something you think he would find interesting or funny -" She couldn't help but laugh at the thought of  _Aaron Hotchner_ finding something funny.

 

 

Spencer smiled sweetly, "Thank you, JJ," he mumbled before starting on his letter;

 

_Dear Aaron,_

 

_I really hope that you're doing well and having a little bit of fun where you are. I thought you would like to know that I'm doing alright, my vocal chords are healing and I can talk now. The team is pretty much business as usual, Jack is doing great, we're having a lot of fun bonding on the weekends. I'll read him a bed time story, and then in the mornings I'll have him read some. He is a really good reader. And he misses you and can't wait to see you. Neither of us can, I miss you so much. And I need you, I need you so much, please.. Come home soon... I can barely function without you. Please. And Derek is starting to scare me. He keeps coming onto me and I'm afraid he's going to hurt me._

 

Spencer struggled to bite back a few tears as he wrote, his eyes squeezing shut before a few tears had the chance to fall down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and gathered himself again before staring at the paper for a while, eventually deciding to add to it;

 

_...He keeps making these weird 'jokes' about getting rid of you. I'm afraid of what he might do. Just keep in touch, please? I just wan your comfort. I haven't bothered to call you or text you because I'm afraid you might be busy doing something and I don't want to stress you out. But please don't worry, I can take care of myself. I won't hesitate to put a bullet in his stomach. He won't know what hit him. I love you, Jack loves you, so so much. Keep your head up and keep working hard. Can't wait to see you!_

 

_Love,_

 

_Dr. Spencer Reid._

 

Spencer smiled to himself as he sealed the envelope, scribbling down  _Aaron hotchner_ and the address before excitedly heading to the elevator. He waited and waited for it to go down to the lobby; and when it finally reached the lobby and opened, Spencer sprinted down the hall and outside the building so he could put the letter in the postbox - that way it would be picked up by 05:00 in the morning and could get to Aaron [hopefully] later that day.He was so excited for his lover's reply that it brought a bright, goofy smile to his face.

 

When Spencer returned to the office, he sighed to himself, all his happiness fading away. He sat down at his desk and took a few more deep breaths, his eyes closing for a short moment.

 

"Hey, pretty boy. We have a case, conference room. Hurry up." Derek smirked to himself and headed into the conference room, beginning to straighten up. He looked up as Spencer came into the room, eyes fixed on the floor.

 

"Where is everyone else?" Spencer asked nervously, staying close to the door incase he had to make a run for it.

 

"Out at lunch. Except JJ, she should be here any minute." Derek smiled and moved a little closer to Dr. Reid and smirked, "How are you holding up now that Hotch is gone?" He leant against the door frame, putting his hand against the wall on the right side of Spencer's head.

 

Spencer bit his lip, his eyes darting around, "U-Uh.. Not so good.  I really miss him and his touch. I want him to hold me again." The genius ran a hand through his hair and sighed, his eyes widening when he looked up to see Derek leaning in. He gasped and ducked out of the way, "Morgan!? What the hell are you doing!? We're at  _work today!_ I'm with Hotch! I-I...Stop!"

 

Derek frowned, a spark of anger boiling up in his blood, "You still go back to him even though he's been abusing you! You go to find comfort for  _him_ abusing you! I don't know what the hell he has on you, Reid, but you need to stop with this back and forth. You come to me after he beats you up, you still talk to him like nothing happened. It's supposed to be _my turn,_ Reid. My turn to save you, to come in and keep you safe! But  _no,_ you always go back to Hotch. I fell in love with you way before you ever started feeling for Hotchner, now I want it to be my turn to treat you like a lover and to keep you safe from people like Hotchner. Come on, Reid, just give me a chance, let me feel your lips on mine, let me feel you against me just once!" Derek eyed Spencer closely, his anger rising the longer Spencer stared back at him with wide eyes.

 

"You have no right to tell me that, Morgan! I'm sorry you don't like it that I don't feel the same, but I'm happy with Aaron, so if can't understand that, tough. It's bullshit. Maybe you need to take some time off and sort out your life. You're  _harassing_ me, and if this keeps happening, I  _will_ take it to Strauss. Do we even have another case, or did you bring me in here so you could try and make out with me?"

 

Derek shrugged his shoulders, "Look, Spencer. I just think that you're being silly. I've been watching you around Hotch for a while now, and you look so afraid of him. It's heartbreaking to watch and I just want you to me safe, okay?" He put his arm around Spencer's waist and sighed, "Hotch isn't good for you, okay? I think it's time you realised that now."

 

Spencer snarled as he shrugged out of Derek's grip, "You don't get to decide who I fall in love with, Morgan. If you think it is somehow your decision, then you  _really_ need to sit down and think long and hard about this bullshit. I'm not having anymore of it. Do you understand me? Any more of it, and I'm going to Strauss and put in a request to have you fired." The genius turned on his heels and stormed out of the conference room, sitting back down at his desk. He crossed his legs in his chair and took out a book, his tired eyes scanning the pages. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, scrolling down to the 'R' category for Rossi. He took a breath and sighed, pressing the green call button.

 

"Hey, Rossi.." Spencer mumbled nervously, "I really need you to talk to Derek. He's starting to scare me." He listened to Rossi's reply, saying he would speak with Derek. Spencer mumbled a quick thank you before hanging up and going back to his book.

 

Derek looked after Spencer and made his way back to his desk. Derek wasn't exactly much of an artist, but there was something inside him that made him want to draw Spencer and nothing but. He would take a legal pad- a small one - and sketch Spencer's face. Sketching every little detail of that gorgeous face, every outline of his cheek bones, all of it. He would probably die if Spencer ever found these, or anyone for that matter.

 

 

 

Spencer clocked out late that night and ran a hand through his hair. He leant against the wall and hugged his books, waiting around for JJ and Garcia to finish up. He smiled when Rossi walked by, "D-Did you talk to Derek?"

 

Rossi nodded slowly, biting his lip, "Listen, kid... When I talked to Derek, he got so angry when I brought up you and Hotchner. He's being too protective of you right now because of everything you've been through, he just wants to keep you safe."

 

"While I do understand that, I don't think sexual harassment is something that needs to make itself known." Spencer looked around, "He tried to fucking  _kiss_ me and got angry when I rejected him!" He looked up at Rossi and hugged his books tighter, "I'm afraid what he might do. He's a big guy.."

 

Rossi laughed bitterly, "I don't think he'll even try anything. I said if he ever did try something I would call Hotch on an emergency to come kick his ass." He ruffled Reid's hair and smiled, "I wouldn't worry too much, but if he  _does_ try again, let me know and I'll call Aaron. And he can come in and sweep you away and make love to you all night long."

 

Reid's face flushed and his eyes widened, "David!" he tried, hiding his face.

 

David only laughed in reply and gestured over to JJ, who was walking towards them, "Might want to catch up with them. They  _are_ your ride home after all.. Hurry up, kid."

 

Spencer blushed lightly and headed off towards the two ladies, "Hey, wait," he whined, shuffling towards the two. He smiled when JJ took a couple of his books, "Thanks," he murmured, walking towards the elevator and stepping in.

 

"You're still afraid of elevators, aren't you?" asked Penelope as she placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder, "I never quite understood  _why_ exactly that was. No one ever really dies from an elevator accident.

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Actually, you're more likely die from an elevator accident than being bitten by a shark."

 

Garcia rolled her eyes and sighed, "Spencer, that's crazy. I don't even know where to begin with that. Spencer had not only bullshit his statistics, or at least that's what Penelope thought was bullshit, but he began to tap away on his phone, searching for a record of elevator deaths.

 

"We get it, Spencer, people can die in elevators, you don't have to give us statistics." JJ smiled and pulled Spencer's phone away from him, "That's for Hotch to listen to. He loves you for those cute little reasons."

 

Spencer whined as his phone was taken from his hands, "But Aaron isn't here right now." He stepped out of the elevator and shivered, "Can we go get dinner? I'm pretty hungry."

 

Penelope smiled, "We can order some take out, yeah? There is this new French restaurant that delivers, and I think it will be great!"

 

"Yeah, that sounds great. I could go for something other than Chinese food for once." JJ laughed softly and put her hair back.

 

"French food is surprisingly unhealthy, but since French people walk everyzhere, they burn the calories rather easily." Spencer smiled sweetly, running a hand through his hair, "But still, it sounds nice."

 

Garcia rolled her eyes, "Not everything is based on facts and statistics, Spencer." She smiled softly and sighed, "You're a sweetie, Spencer, but you're so fucking talkative."

 

"Hey, don't put hi, down like that," said Dave as he slid into the elevator, "He loves spitting out fun facts, and I think you should appreciate them more."

 

Spencer smiled nervously and sighed, "Thanks, Rossi," he said softly.

 

"You what, kid, why don't you come and stay with me tonight? I think we would have some fun," as Rossi saw Spencer's eyes widen, he laughed and shook his head, "Not like that, but with video games, music, wine, fun stuff. What do you say, kiddo?"

 

Spencer hummed and smiled, "Sounds great. Ladies, I'll see you later. Are you ready Rossi?"

 

"Yeah, Spence. I'm ready. Goodnight, ladies." Rossi put his arm around Spencer's shoulders, "I'll make us some dinner. Do you like homemade chicken fingers?"

 

"No, I've not tried them before." Spencer cocked his head to the side and shrugged.

 

Rossi smiled, "Well, you're going to love them. Along with some pasta, they'll be great."

 

Spencer nodded slowly, hugging himself as he made his way to Rossi's car. He did feel slightly uncomfortable now that he was actually here with Rossi, about to go have wine and dinner at his place. He kind of felt like he was cheating on Aaron in some way, but on the other hand, he knew that it wasn't true; Dave cared for him and Aaron more than anything and he would never to something to jeopardise their relationship with one another.

 

"Spencer, are you okay?" asked Rossi as he opened the door to his gorgeous black Mercedes. 

 

Spencer climbed in and nodded, his eyes falling to the ground, "That's a really nice car. I guess when you're crazy rich you can buy one of these cars." He sighed sadly and hugged himself tightly again, "Tell me, Rossi," he murmured, "If you wanted to go have dinner with Morgan, but you were still married, would you consider it cheating?"

 

Dave frowned, huffing as he sped off, "Of course not. I don't consider that cheating at all. Nothing wrong with having dinner with a fear friend. You aren't cheating on Aaron; and outside of the BAU, call me Dave."

 

" _Dave"_ Spencer murmured trying to act like it wasn't too awkward saying Rossi's first name. He stared down at his lap, "You know, sometimes I think that Morgan only wants me for sex."

 

David tightened his hands on the steering wheel, "Let's not talk about that right now, Spencer. I find it much easier to relax at the end of the day when I don't think about the possible bad sides my coworkers could have."

 

"Possible bad sides?" Reid questioned, cocking his head.

 

"Like things you wouldn't think they would do."

 

"Like what?"

 

"Such as Hotch abusing you," replied Dave, "And you with the drugs, and I don't want to think about Derek making sexual advances towards you while you're still with Aaron."

 

"He pushed me to the ground when I wouldn't let him kiss me." Spencer shivered at the thought of Derek's hands on him, "He's angry that I'm still with Aaron."

 

"Did you ask him why the hell it was any of his business?" asked David as he pulled into his driveway.

 

Spencer got out of the car and shook his head, "No, because I know he's going to say something about our age gap. Whether it's Aaron 'manipulating' me, or something like that, he's going to make it his business."

 

"I'll have Garcia talk to him. Trust me, Spencer. He'll think a good four times before he tries forcing himself on you again." Rossi unlocked the door and pulled Reid inside, leaving his keys on the table by the door, "You can leave your bag there if you want to."

 

Spencer hugged his bag to his chest and hesitantly set it down by the small table. He knew that Rossi wouldn't go through his things (not that he had anything to hide), but it was always an internal fear he'd had since his childhood - like being afraid of the dark. He ran a hand through his hair and awkwardly sat at the island in the kitchen, "What do you plan on making again, Ros-  _Dave"_ Agent Rossi's first name still felt foreign rolling off his tongue, but it was comforting at the same time - in a way he couldn't quite explain. Even with an IQ of 187, Spencer Reid knew about as much as love and relationships as an eleven year old girl. 

 

Spencer ran a hand through his hair as he watched Dave cook, his eyes falling shut a few times. He knew it would be quite a while before dinner was ready, so he figured he would shower and get Derek's scent off of his body, "Hey, Dave," he said softly, "Do you think I could use your shower?"

 

"Of course, Spencer," smiled Dave, "It's the third door to your left once you get upstairs." Rossi smiled and turned back to the stove, "Take your time. I'll knock on the door when dinner is ready."

 

Spencer smiled and hugged himself as he moved his way up the stairs. Once he was in the bathroom, he locked the door and turned on the shower before sliding down the wall and pulling out his phone. He dialled Aaron's phone number and sighed.

 

When he heard Aaron pick up on the other line, Spencer's heart fluttered, "Hey, baby.." he squeaked.

 

"Hey," Aaron murmured, "I miss you, how have you been?"

 

"Alright, I guess. I sent you a letter. And I miss you like crazy.. But Derek is really starting to scare me..."

 

"Why, baby?" asked Aaron as he laid back on the bed, putting the phone to his other ear.

 

"He's really trying to make advances towards me and he he tries to kiss me when we're alone." Spencer hugged himself, standing up on shaky legs.

 

Aaron took a breath, trying to control the anger that was beginning to build up, "He hasn't tried anything sexual has he?"

 

"No, not really, and I had Rossi talk to him, but I'm afraid he'll try and force himself on me. You have to get back, Aaron. I need you to protect me."

 

Aaron felt his heart ache for Spencer, "Baby, I still have another few weeks here, but if you need me to come back early, I will. I don't want Derek hurting you. If he really is scaring you that much."

 

"Please come back," Spencer pleaded, "I need you. I need you so much. I need your touch, I need you, your everything. And I love you. Just please come back as soon as you can."

 

"Hey, hey, shh, baby, it's okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah? I'll let you know when I'm coming home. I promise. Now get some sleep. It's late."

 

"Actually, I'm staying with Rossi tonight and he's cooking. But I'll grab a shower and then go eat. I'll text you before I got to sleep. I love you."

 

"I love you too, Spencer, and I'll see you soon." Aaron hung up the phone and ran a hand over his face. He was about to have a real problem with Derek Morgan.

 

Spencer smiled to himself as he stripped down and stepped into the shower. He let the hot water run down his small frame and tipped hie head back. Hopefully Aaron would be able to come back in the next day or two and get Derek to back the hell off. He nearly jumped ten feet in the air (and slipped) when he heard a knock on the door and Dave told him dinner was ready. He shivered and stepped out of the shower, sloppily throwing his clothes back on and trotting downstairs, his hair still dripping wet.

 

"You know, you could have dried off," Dave laughed, setting two plates on the table.

 

"But I was hungry," said Spencer as he sat down at the table before Dave, "This looks great."

 

"Well then Bon Appétit," hummed Dave as he smiled up at Spencer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter! Between moving and writer's block, it's almost been a month!


	6. Madness

It was two days before Aaron was able to get back, but he was glad to see Spencer filing his paperwork. Aaron took a breath and ran a hand through his hair before tapping Spencer on his shoulder, smiling as he turned around, "Hey, baby.."

 

Spencer frowned at the tap on his shoulder - he turned around, half expecting to see Morgan. He squealed and shot up from his seat, "Aaron!" he smiled, running a hand through his hair to slick it back before throwing his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "I missed you so much!"

 

"I missed you too, baby," Aaron hummed, kissing Spencer tenderly and holding his waist, "I'm here to save the day, my love," he laughed, kissing Spencer again. he smiled and scooped him up in his arms and held him close, "So how are you feeling, darling?"

 

Spencer shrugged, "I feel great now that you're here to protect me." He jumped down from Aaron's arms and hummed, "Derek is in the bathroom right now. I think you should wait until he gets out."

 

Aaron laughed, "Okay, baby."

 

He waited until Derek came out of the bathroom before kissing Reid and moving to hide out of Morgan's line of sight. He watched him closely.

 

"Hey, Reid!" Morgan yelled, heading down into the bullpen. He stood before Spencer, a flirty smile on his lips.

 

Spencer tensed, his eyes darting everywhere but Morgan, "Hey, Derek.." he said softly, hugging himself protectively, "Do we have a case? Or are you going to try and make out with me again?"

 

Derek smiled brightly, "We have a case. Unless you're actually down for kissing?"

 

"I can't, Derek. I'm with Aaron. And I'm not cheating on him!" Spencer looked down after he saw Derek's features change, "I don't understand why you always get so angry. I'm sorry you don't like me with Aaron."

 

Derek snarled and grabbed Spencer by the waist, his eyes full of a mixture of lust and anger, "You know, pretty boy, that Aaron isn't right for you." He sighed, brushing Spencer's hair back and leaning in.

 

"Aaron!" Spencer cried, pulling away from Morgan's grip and hiding behind Aaron when he came rushing out.

 

Derek's eyes widened, his posture straightening out, "Hotch. We weren't expecting you back for another six week."

 

Aaron snarled, pushing Spencer behind him more, "So that gives you the right to force yourself on my boyfriend!?" He gripped onto Spencer's waist and pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Agent Morgan, if this unprofessional charade continues, I  _will_ have your badge and I will make sure that you are not able to get a job in the FBI anywhere else. Do I make myself clear?"

 

"Yes, sir.." said Morgan as he quickly headed into the other direction.

 

"Thank you so much," Spencer breathed, hugging himself, "And just know that I never did anything with him."

 

"I know you didn't," said Aaron as he kissed Spencer's nose and smiled, "You're such a sweetie. I love you more than anything, and I'm sorry I hurt you like I did."

 

"Well, I'm not saying that it's okay," Spencer sighed, "But I do appreciate you apologising to me, and I accept it." Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck and pulled him down into a soft kiss, "And I love you too. More than my books."

 

"I think that's a good thing, thank you." Aaron laughed softly and padded back to his office, Spencer following behind.

 

Spencer closed the door behind them and sat down on the couch, watching Aaron sort through the pile of paperwork, "Do you want to help you with this? I'm happy that I came back today. I'd hate to see this pile if left untouched for two months." Aaron watched Spencer laugh and stretch out, "You're still at work, Doctor Reid." He smiled at his lover and scribbled down a few notes, "I can't wait to go home with you tonight. And since it's Friday, that means you're keeping Jack, so the three of us can spend some time together."

 

"We can go see a movie, maybe. There's some cool sci-fi ones out." Spencer grinned happily and pulled up the films playing at a local cinema, "We could go see the new Mission: Impossible film that came out the other day."

 

Aaron laughed softly, "Spence, we  _are_ talking about going to see a movie with my eight year old son. Maybe one of the Disney films? Or the new Avengers movie."

 

"But the Avengers film is so scientifically inaccurate, though." Spencer pouted and ran a hand through his hair, "And I don't think it's going to be that great. I don't really care for anyone in it."

 

"We don't have to like it, Spencer," Aaron chuckled, "It's just to bond with Jack and get him used to the three of us spending time together. And I know you love Robert Downey Jr., who doesn't? He's so damn fine."

 

Spencer pouted, "I hope you don't leave me for him then. I love you way too much."

 

"I would never leave you for anyone," sighed Aaron as he stood up and made his way over to Spencer, pushing a hand through his soft hair.

 

Spencer shrugged and ran his hand down Aaron's back, cheeks turning pink, "I do trust you. I trust you with my life. You trust me with yours, right?"

 

Aaron smiled, "Of course I do, baby." He checked his watched and pushed Spencer's hair back, "I want to tame that same piece that falls in your face.." He grazed his fingers over Spencer's cheek, erasing Morgan's touch.

 

Spencer blushed heavily, pushing into Aaron's touch, "You're so fucking cute, Aaron," he laughed, "Do you want to, maybe, do some kissing? Since we've gone so long without the feel of each other's lips?" He smirked, taking Hotch's hand and pushing him back onto his desk, "Can't wait to kiss you again, baby..."

 

Aaron squeaked when Spencer pushed him against the desk, "Spence," he whispered, "Should we really be doing this here? Especially with Morgan in the other room?"

 

"That's the thrill, don't you think?" Spencer gripped onto Hotch's tie and pulled him into a kiss. He wrapped his arms around the other man's neck and smiled against his lips, "Hm, I forgot how good you tasted, baby. Fuck, I missed you."

 

Aaron pulled away for a breath and laughed, "Honey, I think we should probably wait until we get home, that way we can kiss and touch and memorise each other's touch for years to come. Also, I really want to show you a few things."

 

Spencer smiled brightly, "And I want to show you something, too, baby." He ran a hand through his hair and pressed a chaste kiss to his lover's face, "I learnt how to play the guitar and I want to play something for you?"

 

Aaron hummed softly and returned the kiss to Spencer's face, "Listen, Spence, I want to take you out tonight, just you and I."

 

"I would like that. Very much," Spencer cuddled close to Aaron and closed his eyes, "Let's just not do anything right now. I just want to stay right here with you."

 

"Oh, honey, I wish we could, but we've gotta do work. But when we go out to dinner tonight - we'll have a nice meal and I'll take you back home where we can make love all night if you want."

 

"I like the sound of that.." Spencer cooed, running his fingers through Aaron's hair, "I missed your heavily combed hair."

 

"Heavily combed?" Aaron laughed and sat down in his chair, "I try and look work appropriate." He took hold of a file and flipped it open, cheeks red as Spencer moved to prop himself up on his desk.

 

"Do you have anything to do or have you finished everything?"

 

"I just finished all of my paperwork. If you want me to bring it to you, I can. But I don't want to leave you." Spencer pouted playfully and grinned, pulling Aaron into a kiss before trotting off.

 

Aaron rolled his eyes and followed after Spencer. He grunted in both surprise and pain as he felt a sudden pain in his jaw. As he stumbled to the floor, he looked up at Morgan, his eyes full of fire.

 

"Just because Reid loves you, don't change a damn thing about how I feel." Derek grabbed Aaron by his shirt and yanked him up off the floor before slamming him against the wall.

 

Spencer stood in horror as he watched his lover be punched and thrown around, "Derek, stop!" he cried, trying to pull Derek's hand away, "Stop, he's my boyfriend!"

 

"Reid, don't you think it's time Hotchner got a taste of his own medicine?" Derek snarled as he thrusted his fist into Aaron's nose.

 

"Help, someone help me!" Spencer sobbed, stepping back when Rossi and Emily came rushing over. Just as the two were about to grab Derek away, Aaron shoved the man back and kicked him in the stomach before grabbing him by the throat, "How  _dare_ you lecture me about something you don't know everything about. Do you think I enjoyed hurting Spencer? You think I would have  _voluntarily_ taken off two months to go to rehab to get help so I wouldn't do it anymore? I love him more than anything and I don't want to hurt him anymore. You think you're any better to him now? If you ever ended up with him what would he think if you got angry at him? He won't go there again, and by attacking me, you've blown your chance at ever having him. Not that you would have one, I planned on proposing to him tonight when I took him out to dinner, because I want to make up for how I acted in a meaningful marriage with the man I love, the man I would do or give up anything for."

 

Derek snarled and moved to punch Aaron again; this time Aaron dodged the attack and managed to kick behind Aaron's knee to send him to the ground, "You're lucky I'm not placing you under arrest for assault, but I am considering taking your badge,  _Agent."_

 

Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron's waist, "Let's get you cleaned up, baby" Spencer smiled weakly and pulled Aaron into the break area, digging around for the first aid kit. Once found, Spencer put a band-aid on the small cut on his lover's cheek. The genius put some ice in a bag and pressed it to Hotch's jaw, "Is there anything else you need, A? Do you need any narcotics?"

 

"You can just say aspirin, love, and no, I don't need any. I appreciate it, though, thank you." Aaron pressed a tiny kiss to Spencer's nose and hummed, "Garcia is waiting for us; we have a case. And I am still taking you out for dinner tonight - after work."

 

Spencer blushed lightly, "Oh, okay... I'll make sure I stay nice." The genius smiled weakly and ran a hand through his hair, "I love you," he said quietly.

 

"I love you too, Spencer," Aaron said softly as he held ice to his jaw, "And when we get home later, I want to show you something I think you'll like."

 

"What is it?" Spencer giggled, "Tell me!"

 

"No," laughed Aaron, "I want it to be a surprise." He kissed Spencer's nose, "So you have to wait for it."

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Fine, fine," he pouted, "Can I have a hint?"

 

Aaron smirked, "Your'e a genius, you try and figure it out." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and squeezed the crumpled piece of paper, "But I know you'll love it."

 

"I hate you," the genius teased before trotting out into the bullpen. He wraooed his arms around himself in a fuzzy feeling. Spencer was dying to know Aaron's surprise.

 

Aaron ran a hand through his hair and sighed, staring out at Spencer from his office. As he looked outside at the dark, cloudy sky, he sang quietly to himself - quiet enough for no one to hear him. It was raining  _hard,_ and he knew that the minute a rumble of thunder sounded through the building, Spencer would come running.The rain pattered against the window, giving Aaron a sense of security. He sat down on the couch before his desk and sighed as he stared out the window. Just as he began to relax, a rumble of thunder sounded through the city - the building, along with a bright flash of lightening that knocked the power right out.

 

As Aaron predicted, within a few minutes, Spencer came wondering in and crawled into Aaron's arms, "It's dark," he whispered, laying his head on his lover's chest.

 

"I know, Spence, I know," he cooed, pressing a kiss to Spencer's forehead, "I've got you, don't worry. It's okay."

 

Spencer closed his eyes and sighed, "Can you do the thing?" he asked quietly.

 

"Of course, lay down." Aaron smiled as Spencer laid his head on his lap, "Are you having your headaches again?"

 

Spencer shrugged, "More or less. I still have headaches, but they're not as bad as they used to be." He smiled and stretched out as Aaron began to run his fingers through his hair and pressing his fingers to his temples, "That feels so good.." He closed his eyes and hummed, smiling up at his boss, "You know I love you so much, right?"

 

"I love you too," Aaron cooed, leaning down to kiss his lover's forehead, "And I can't wait to go home with you tonight."

 

"I still want a hint to what you want to show me! Please?"

 

"No, because if I tell you, you'll figure it out and it won't be as special."

 

Spencer pouted and playfully smacked Aaron's cheek, "Fine, fine." 

 

"But, I promise,  _I promise,_ it will be worth it, okay?" Hotch pressed his hand against his lover's forehead, "Are you feeling okay? And be honest, Reid."

 

"I mean, I've been a little depressed lately, but that's because I've been missing you. And I've had a few headaches, but that's it. Honest."

 

Spencer smiled weakly and sighed, "You don't need to worry about me."

 

Aaron took a deep breath, "But Spencer, you look like you haven't slept in ages. When we get home I'm sending you right to sleep. You need your rest. Especially for that bug brain of yours."

 

"But I thought you had a surprise for me?" Spencer laughed quietly, jumping a little bit when more thunder sounded through the office. 

 

"That's funny, the back up generator should be working. I might have to call about it." Aaron ran a hand down Spencer's cheek and smiled, "You never told me why you were afraid of thunderstorms. Or the dark."

 

"Why I'm afraid of the dark?" questioned Spencer, "Because of the inherent absence of light!" The genius right, "And I'm just afraid of thunderstorms because they can actually be very unpredictable and dangerous." He laced his fingers with Aaron's and grinned, "But I have you to protect me."

 

Hotch laughed quietly and chuckled, "So, I know you're dying to talk about what I said when Morgan attacked me."

 

Spencer shrugged, "Yes, I really was - but I'm not sure if you said it just to get Morgan off your back, so I didn't want to make a big deal of it. I understand if you don't want to marry me."

 

Aaron sighed, "Of course I want to marry you. I just want it to be later in life, when I can actually be there for you want I've made up for hurting you."

 

Spencer blushed lightly, "I'm glad you feel that way. Because I want to marry you too." He paused for a moment and smiled, "Kiss me?"

 

Aaron grinned happily and ran his lips over Spencer's before catching them in a soft kiss, "I think we should get back to work, love. I don't want people to think we're having sex in here." He laughed and held the ice to his jaw again, "Thanks for patching me up."

 

  
"But you're running your fingers through my hair, we're not having sex. Why would they think that?" Spencer yawned and sat up, trying to fix his fucked up hair.

 

"People think crazy things, Spencer. Well, you and I both know that considering our job." Aaron sighed and stood up, "I wonder why the back up generator hasn't come on yet."

 

Spencer shrugged, "I bet Garcia has a few candles we can all use. Do you want me to go ask?"

 

"No, baby. It's actually time for us to get off anyway. Last time I checked the time it was half past five. We get off at six and no paperwork, and I'm guessing we won't be able to get to the case today. " Aaron ran a hand through his hair and cracked his neck, "Let's get out of here before we get called in again." He helped Spencer up and grabbed his jacket, "Let's go to dinner, I'm starving."

 

"How about we just order in tonight?" I really just want to relax with you tonight. Please?" Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck, pulling him down into a kiss.

 

The two shared a long, loving kiss before grabbing their things, saying goodbye to the others, and booking it the hell out of the office.

 

As Spencer climbed into the car, he pulled out his phone and called in some Thai food; Spencer ordering Pad Thai for himself and some soup for Aaron. He hung up the phone and grinned, "About an hour."

 

Aaron nodded and sped off, "Awesome. I've missed real food."

 

Spencer laughed, "I bet you have."

 

 

When the two arrived back at their apartment, Spencer had his lover against the door in seconds, kissing him as if Aaron would disappear.

 

Aaron pushed Spencer away after a few minutes, "Air, honey, we need air." His breathing was shallow and shaky as he traced his thumb over Spencer's kiss-swollen lips, "Don't forget about the food. I don't think we want to traumatise the man delivering the food."

 

Spencer rolled his eyes and sighed, pushing a hand through Aaron's hair before going in for another kiss. "Sweetie, I know you've been sex deprived for a few weeks now, but you need to chill for about ten more minutes," said Aaron as he scooped the smaller man into his arms, laughing, "How much was dinner?"

 

"Twenty-three quid even," Spencer hopped down from Aaron's arms as there was a knock at the door. He opened the door and smiled, handing the delivery man the money. He bit the man a goodbye and shut the door before setting the food on the table and grabbing Aaron's hands, pulling him towards the bedroom, "Forget the food."

 

"Spence, now, really?"

 

"Yes, now. Come on, I've missed you," the genius purred, closing the door to their bedroom.


	7. So... Here We Are

Spencer closed the door to their apartment as Jessica left, leaving Jack with him Aaron. Reid was pretty nervous about spending time with Jack  _and_ Hotch, both. Sure he had done it plenty of times before, but never for an entire week; he wasn't sure what to do - he'd run out of things to do eventually.

 

"Spence?" Aaron hummed, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I know you're nervous, but I know you'll do great. I promise," Hotch smiled reassuringly and pulled Spencer onto the couch, "I know last weekend you and Jack had a Doctor Who marathon. Where did you guys leave off?"

 

Spencer shrugged and turned to Jack, "I don't know, Jack. Do you remember where we left off?"

 

Jack smiled up at Spencer and hummed, "Yeah! I thinks we was on the Doctor with the fluffy hair and the big scarf!!"

 

"We were on the fourth Doctor," Spencer laughed, grabbing the TV remote, "Also, Jack, it's 'we were' if you're talking about more than one person, you're going to use 'were'."

 

"Okay Uncle 'Pencer" Jack murmured, crawling onto his father's lap and hugging his neck. He leant in closer to whisper in Aaron's ear, "When are you and Uncle 'Pence getting married?" the boy asked softly.

 

Aaron nearly choked at his son's question before he pulled Jack back to look at him, "What makes you think Spencer and I are going to get married?" he asked, looking back at Spencer with a questioning look.

 

"Because," Jack answered with a big smile, "Because you look at him like you does with mama." Aaron looked back up at Spencer with a heavy blush - Spencer staring back with the same expression.

 

"Aaron," Spencer gasped out, "I think Jack is trying to tell us something," he laughed.

 

Aaron stood up and nodded, "Yeah, I think he is," he whispered, smiling when Jack hugged his legs. He pulled Spencer flush against him and took a breath, "Spencer, I know I've not been the best boyfriend you could have, but that doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life making that all up to you," he took Spencer's hand in his and smiled, "Spencer Reid, will you marry me?" He gripped Jack's hand in his free hand, staring at Spencer's shocked expression - he couldn't help but laugh.

 

After Spencer managed to regain his ability to speak, he stared at Aaron with wide eyes, "Yes..." he breathed, "Of course!" He smiled as Aaron spun him around and kissed his forehead, "I wasn't expecting you to do this now, I - Aaron." He laughed and ran a hand through his lover's hair, "I can't wait for Morgan's reaction."

 

"That's not why you're marrying me, is it?" Aaron teased, kissing Spencer's nose and looking down at Jack, who was smiling up at them, "Jack, how would you feel about going to the park with Spencer and I? It's a nice afternoon and I think we could use the fresh air."

 

Spencer laughed, "Are you calling us couch potatoes now?"  He picked Jack up in his arms and smiled, "Your son likes me and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've never really had a family before."

 

"Just let it happen, Spencer. it will all fall into place soon enough. We love you and nothing is going to happen to us. I promise that. You're going to be a great step-dad to Jack."

 

"Step-dad?" Spencer squeaked, "I like the sound of that."

 

Aaron smiled happily, "I'm glad, baby." He put Jack in his jacket before grabbing his own and taking Spencer's hand, "Let's go, kids."

 

"I'm not a kid!" Jack and Spencer both pouted in unison.

 

"So stop pouting like children," Aaron, sighed, "Spencer I expected this out of Jack, but you?" He laughed and picked his son up in his arms, "Jack, do you want to bring anything with us? A ball? Something to eat, drink?" He shrugged when Jack shook his head, "Suit yourself." He opened the door to allow Spencer to go first.

 

When they arrived at the park, Aaron let Jack go play on the playground whilst he and Spencer sat on the bench to watch him play and interact with all of the other kids. They relaxed and watched as the kids played; Spencer was oh-so relaxed, but he shot up when he heard Jack's voice, saying that his dad was in the 'BFI', followed by a loud cry. Spencer and Hotch looked at each other before rushing to the other side of the slide, where Jack was standing over some other kid - who was screaming with a bloody nose.

 

"Jack, what did you do?" Aaron asked, sounding slightly angry.

 

As Jack looked down and stepped back, Spencer put a hand on Aaron's shoulder, "Let me handle this." He took a breath and knelt down before the two boys, the other's mother standing beside Hotch, "Jack, can you tell me what happened?"

 

"Well, we were talking and he says something about his mummy always buys him toys - so I told him my mummy died and he started to make fun of me - so I hit him and when he tried to hit me back I says he couldn't do that 'cause my daddy and papa were in the BFI!!!" Spencer looked at Aaron and sighed before turning to the other boy.

 

"What's your name?"

 

"Preston," replied the ginger-haired boy.

 

"Well, Preston," Spencer sighed, "Why did you think it was okay to back fun of Jack because he didn't have a mummy?"

 

Preston looked down and shrugged, "Because my mummy always says that kids need a mummy and a daddy only."

 

Spencer looked back at Aaron and then back at Preston, "Yeah? What does your mummy say about boys that have two daddies?"

 

Preston glanced at his bother, "She says they grow up to be bad people."

 

"Alright," Spencer sighed, standing up to face Preston's mother, "Listen, lady, with all due respect that I can give you, which is very little, I think you shouldn't be teaching your children things like that. It is disrespectful and entirely untrue."

 

"I've read studies that show that children with same sex parents are more likely to be molested," replied the boy's mother.

 

"On an über Christian website?" he snapped, Spencer laughed bitterly, "You know, Miss, as a  _real_ doctor with three PhDs and two BAs, both of those being in psychology and sociology, I can tell you that your über Christian facts are dead wrong. Children with same sex parents grow up just as well as kids with heterosexual parents if in the right hands - if not, better, because they learn how to not be ignorant assholes like you and your carrot top son!"

 

Aaron laughed from behind Spencer and picked Jack up in his arms, "Come on, Spence, let's just go."

 

Spencer smiled and kissed Aaron's nose, "Oh, and miss, just so you know," he hummed, pulling his FBI badge from his back pocket and practically shoving it in the woman's face, "We're both in the FBI - Behavioural Analysis Unit, and as a proud member of that team, I have to say that I, Doctor Spencer Reid, who has an IQ of 187 - I can say that _my son_ had every single right in the world to knock the shit out of your son, and if I could do it to you, I would." He smiled proudly and took Aaron's hand before pulling him and Jack away and down the walking trail.

 

Aaron couldn't help but walk off laughing at Spencer, "You really told her," he chuckled, "I thought I'd have to bring you in for hurting him."

 

"I can't see you arresting me," Spencer laughed, running a hand through his hair, "But it  _would_ be hot." _  
_

 

"Spencer! Not while Jack is here!"

 

Spencer turned to Jack and cocked an eyebrow, "Did you hear any of that, buddy?"

 

Jack shook his head, "No, papà."

 

Spencer smiled at the boy and sighed, "Papà?"

 

Aaron grinned happily, "He knows that you're apart of our family now. So he better call you papa, because you won't be uncle anymore. You'll be his step-father."

 

Spencer took a breath, "I know, and the thought of that is kind of scary. I haven't thought a lot about kids, but I'm just glad that my first child is Jack. My patience is too little to deal with a baby." He laughed quietly to himsef, curling into Aaron as a cold gust of wind blew through the red leaves of the trees, "We should probably go to the store and get things to make for the week - I think it's supposed to snow real bad tomorrow and all through through next Sunday."

 

"But it's December," replied Hotch, wrapping his arm around Reid's waist, watching as Jack grabbed Spencer's hand. He smiled happily and ran a hand through his son's hair, "But I suppose we  _should_ get snacks and stuff to make if we do get snowed in."

 

Spencer chuckled, "Well, actually, I'm not that bad of a cook; I always cooked for my mother when I was younger. As you can imagine. She wouldn't remember to eat a lot of the time."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that, Spence," said Aaron with a heavy sigh as he pulled Spencer a little closer, "I wish I knew what to tell you, but sadly, I don't."

 

Spencer smiled weakly, "Don't worry about it, I've made my peace with it." He pecked Aaron's lips and grinned, "But for now, we should probably call Jess and tell her we're engaged because of Jack." He looked down at the ssmall boy, who was staring up at the couple, "I'm pretty sure she'll be at our wedding with a sign that said 'I told you so'. She knew for a while that I was crazy in love with you. You know how that goes."

 

Aaron shrugged, "If only I had told you sooner, but here we are. Starting over. As a whole."

 

Spencer blushed lightly and squeezed Jack's hand, gasping when the boy whimpered, "Oh, god, I'm sorry, buddy," he chuckled , ruffling his hair and then smoothing it back down.

 

Aaron smiled at the two, "I love you two so much. My two greatest achievements." He shivered when he felt a few drops of sleet on his face and sighed, "We should probably get home," he murmured, picking Jack up and pulling Spencer towards the car.

 

 

When they finally reached the car, it was raining a fair amount - enough to have Jack and Spencer completely soaked.

 

"Why aren't you wet, daddy?" asked Jack as he was put into his cat seat.

 

"Yeah, Aaron. Why aren't you wet?" Spencer laughed, climbing into the passenger seat of the black SUV.

 

"I'm just as soaked as you guys are, I don't know why you think I wouldn't be. It doesn't rain around me?" Hotch chuckled to himself and ran a hand through his hair, flinging some water droplets at Spencer, laughing as he squealed and covered his face.

 

"No!" Spencer whined, "It's too cold for that, now lets either go home or get take out or go by the market and buy food."

 

When the three arrived home, the rain had pretty much turned into freezing sleet, but in more of a small drizzle. They were almost completely dry from the heat of the car; all except Spencer's hair, which had frozen ice on it now that the temperature had gone below 0°.

 

"You go dry off, I'll get Jack into some warmer clothes." Spencer grinned and took Jack's hand, taking him into his bedroom. Getting Jack into some dry pyjamas wasn't the hard part - it was getting him out of the  _wet clothes._ Jack didn't like the texture of wet fabric against the skin on his face. And when he was finally done, Spencer told Jack to watch some TV whilst he changed.

 

He closed the door to the bedroom, his cheeks turning pink when he turned around to see one  _very_ naked Aaron standing in the closet. Reid tried to hide the blush and smile as he  crept up behind his lover, pulling bare hips against soaking wet pants.

 

Hotch gasped, his eyes wide as he whipped around, but his shocked expression was quickly replaced with a playful smile when he saw Spencer staring up at him, "You're freezing cold, Spence."

 

"Yeah, that happens," Spencer laughed, pealing off his wed shirt and shivering, "Can I have one of your sweaters? It's really cold. Please, baby?"

 

"Of course," Aaron replied, pulling Spencer into his arms and squeezing him. He laughed as Spencer let out a time squeak before letting him go, "Go get dressed. I'll make you some tea."

 

Spencer nodded and hugged his nude form, "Can it be hot cocoa?" he grinned.

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, "Sure, baby. If we have any." He made his way out into the kitchen and looked through the cupboards, searching for Spencer's precious hot cocoa. To his luck, he found one packet left; Hotch grabbed a cup and poured some milk into it before popping it in the microwave. He looked around the apartment, a sudden wave of guilt washing over him. From Aaron's current view of the apartment - he could see various dents in the wall, and he knew just how they got there and why he was mad at Spencer that day - and it killed him to know that he put Spencer through that.

 

The beep of the microwave brought Hotch back from his thoughts. He sighed sadly and took the hot cup, not caring that it was burning his hands

 

Spencer skipped out of the bedroom with a bright smile on his face: as he walked into the kitchen; his smile faded when he was Aaron staring out into space. He wrapped his arms around his lover's waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "What's wrong? Do we have a case?"

 

"No, no, nothing like that. I was just... Looking around the apartment and I... I think we should move."

 

Spencer stared at Aaron, his eyes wide, "No, why would you want to do that? I love where we live... I don't want to move. Jack doesn't want to move - I know you don't want to either."

 

Aaron sighed, "I just feel like.." he paused to make sure Jack wasn't listening in, "I just feel like there are too many bad memories for us both here. You know?" He pressed a kiss to Spencer's temple and sighed, "I don't like being reminded that I used to hurt you every chance I got - and I just want to start over with you. As Jack's parents, lovers, and best friends."

 

Spencer took a breath and looked around, "But shouldn't we focus on the future? Let it outweigh the bad that happened here?"

 

"We'll talk about it more tomorrow. Let's just enjoy what's happening right now.. Our son, our soon-to-be married life.. I can't wait to marry you. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm just so fucking sorry I put you through that, and I'm sorry that I made you run to Derek every time, and I'm s-s-sorry  that h-he tried t-to force himself on you, and I'm sorry for-" Aaron squeaked when he felt Spencer's lips on his; he closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, tears falling onto Spencer's face.

 

"You need to shut up," Spencer whispered, hugging Aaron's waist and kissing his tears away, "I'm not going to say it's okay, because you and I both know it isn't true, and you wouldn't believe me anyway, but I will say that I accept your apologies, and I forgive you. Now we can talk more about this tonight after Jack is asleep, but for now, let's go spend time with our son."

 

Aaron smiled weakly and rubbed his thumb over Spencer's cheek, "Haley would have loved you," he whispered quietly.

 

"Sh, Aaron. You're going to make me cry," squeaked Spencer as he laid his head on his fiancé's chest.

 

"Please don't cry," Aaron whispered. He looked over in the lounge, seeing Jack was asleep on the sofa, "Come on, let's go lay down." Hotch picked Spencer up in his arms and carried him into the bedroom, laying him down on the bed, "Let's just enjoy our time alone together"

 

Spencer rubbed his eyes and took a breath, watching as Aaron laid down next to him, "Okay, so, let's talk about you wanting to move. I, personally, want to stay here - so we can start over and not let this house be forever known as the house where you hurt me in. Sure, it was a rough time our lives, but we were both strong and we over came it. We can build over all of the angst with our son and our marriage. Please, at least take that into consideration before you make us move." He laced his fingers with Aaron's and felt a light blush dust his cheeks, "Plus, you're too old to be carrying heavy boxes."

 

"Hey!" Aaron cried, his voice becoming a few octaves higher, "Excuse me! I'm also your boss, I'm not your elderly husband, so watch your mouth."

 

Spencer pouted and ran his hands up Aaron's chest, "I'm sorry, daddy."

 

"Oh god, Jack calls me that, please don't call me daddy. Not until he moves onto Dad. Then it won't be so awkward." Hotch chuckled,softly and kissed the top of his lover's head, "I love you and all, but I don't think our sex life will ever be  _that_ kinky."

 

"Not yet," Spencer chimed, undoing a few buttons on Aaron's shirt. He was just about to move in for a kiss when a loud crash of thunder sounded through the apartment and Jack came rushing in.

 

"Daddy, Papà!" cried the little boy as he climbed into bed with his parents.

 

Spencer pulled Jack into his arms and rubbed his back, "The thunder can't hurt you, sweetie. It's probably just your mummy up in heaven, bowling. You ever been bowling, Jack?"

 

"We never had the time," Aaron mumbled, staring in awe at Jack and Spencer, "Would you two like to go bowling tomorrow if it's not snowing too bad?"

 

The two smiled and nodded, "I think it'll be great for all of us," Spencer beamed.

 

"Me too," Aaron murmured as he flipped on the TV, kissing his son and his fiancé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm not too proud of this chapter, but it's something. Sorry if you guys didn't like it - but let me know what you think? New fic coming to my Memories series and new Criminal Minds fic coming soon!!


	8. As Fragile As A Dream

Spencer sighed and slid down against the wall, running a hand through his sweat soaked hair, "Are we almost done? I feel like I'm going to be sore for two weeks after this."

 

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you decide to move," Aaron laughed, sitting down next to Spencer and leaning his head on his shoulder, "But when we pick Jack up from Jessica's later, we can all grab some dinner and go to our new home for a movie and  _sleep!_ God, sleep sounds so fucking good right now."

 

"You're telling me," Reid murmured, "I've been up since five this morning. You don't get to say you're tired!" He laughed and closed his eyes, "Kiss me, and then we can continue?" The genius closed his eyes when Aaron leant forward and connected their lips, "Fuck I love you.." 

 

"I love you too," Aaron whispered, a smirk forming on his face, "First one to the truck gets a BJ."

Spencer rolled his eyes and sighed, "I - Don't do that to me, A. I'm too fucking tired to run."

 

"But you're in the FBI, you can't be too tired to run." He sighed and wrapped his arms around Spencer's waist, "Oh, come on. How can you pass up a blowjob? I think it would be fun, yeah?"

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, "Alright.. fine. Are you ready?"

 

"Ready. Set. Go!"

 

The two took off, running down the steps and down to their moving truck. It was a quick rush to the truck; tripping and stumbling over each other, the two finally reached their destination. Simultaneously.

 

"We reached it at the same time," Spencer panted, watching as Aaron had to sit down. 

 

"Sixty-nine, then?" questioned the older man.

 

"Alright," Spencer agreed, high fiving his fiancé, "But not before you shower." He playfully shoved Aaron and carded his fingers through his hair, "We both need to shower, really bad."

 

"Should we do that now? I mean, you know, since we both smell fucking terrible."

 

"No, not until we finish getting everything moved in. We're almost done. Maybe about an hour or so left. Not even."

 

Hotch took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am too old for this. I feel like I'm about to mass out."

 

Spencer laughed to himself, "I'm always right, and you know it too." He pulled Aaron into a kiss and sighed, "I love you."

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, "You know, kissing me and telling me you love me won't really do anything for you. Not unless I'm in a good mood, but as of right now I'm way too tired to even try to negotiate anything. Let's just finish up everything and get Jack so we can eat. I'm starving."

 

"Me too," Spencer murmured, "But luckily we're almost done! Just three boxes, and they have our clothes in them. So they're pretty light. If you want, I can take care of those boxes and you can go pick up Jack and get us something to eat on the way home?"

 

"That sounds nice, are you sure you can handle it?"

 

"Yeah. Go get Jack, I'll be waiting for you. Tell Jack that I'll have his room finished by the end of this week."

 

"Sounds great," Hotch laughed, kissing Spencer goodbye, "Love you."

 

"I love you too," Spencer whispered, watching after Hotch with a small smile.

 

 

 

'Papà!" Jack yelled as he ran through the door, followed by Aaron.

 

"So, did you guys pick up dinner on your way home? After putting away all of these clothes, I've worked up quite the appetite." Spencer sat up from the floor and groaned, wiping the sweat away from his face, "I don't see dinner. Please tell me you got dinner."

 

Aaron laughed and picked Jack up as he pressed a kiss to Spencer's lips, "I ordered a pizza. It should be here in five or ten minutes. In the mean time, why don't you shower and then I'll rub your back?" He smiled at his fiancé and wrapped his free arm around Spencer's narrow waist, "When you get out, the pizza will probably be here. So just go ahead."

 

Spencer smiled sweetly and skipped off to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Once he started the shower, he leant against the wall and yawned, feeling as if he could fall asleep right there. He stretched as he stepped in and let the water fall down his body, not being able to help the soft groan that escaped.

 

He would have asked Hotch to join him, but of course, he couldn't do that with Jack in there.

 

As Spencer stepped out of the shower, he quickly got dressed and headed out into the living room, smiling when he saw the box of pizza on the table, "Oh fuck, I'm so hungry!" 

 

"Spencer!" Aaron scolded, covering Jack's ears.

 

"Sorry," Spencer laughed, "I'm just so hungry," he muttered, taking a bite of his food, "So good..."

 

Aaron rolled his eyes and covered Jack's ears again, "You're only supposed to say that if I'm between your legs!"

 

"Oh shut up!" Spencer pouted, sitting down on the couch and cuddling up against Aaron and pulling Jack onto his lap;  he sighed in contentment, stroking Aaron's hand and holding Jack against his chest, "You were right, Aaron. Moving was good for us."

 

"I look forward to what our future holds," Aaron whispered, kissing Spencer's forehead and looking down to admire the two men he loved most, "My husband.. And our son. The future doesn't look so bad."

 

"It really does't," Spencer whispered, staring back up at his fiancé, "It really doesn't..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from the dead! A little over a year later, here comes this shitty chapter. It was supposed to be the end, but it's too short and I didn't want to leave you all with such a short, uneventful ending. Thanks for all your patience.


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